I'm Not an Animal (Slow Updates)

Chapter 24

When I was young, my parents told me that if there was only one thing I remembered for my whole life, let it be this: Fight for what you believe in. And to hear Kaden say, so casually, for me to fight for him... it made me breathless.

"Fight for you? As in, join the Resistance?"

"No. Fight. Inside. Fight for yourself, Tora, and keep yourself going strong."

I couldn't say anything. I stood slowly, dropped the gun, and stumbled back to the other clump of bushes. I stood there, staring down at the group of girls curled together. Zaki was holding Marion close, and her still-unconscious frame was slumped around Eleanor.

I bit my lip and turned away. I quickly grabbed the cloak from beneath the trees and wrapped it around myself. I lay down on the grass out in the open and curled up into a ball, trying to make myself as small as possible.

I lay there silently for a few minutes. My eyes had long since adjusted to the darkness, and I saw an Owl on a tree branch, a Salmon leap from the river, a sleek, dark brown Cat prowl past the bushes. Then I lay flat on my back and turned my head slightly towards Kaden.

"Do you think it's better, now?" I whispered. I did think he'd heard me, then he replied, in a husky voice.

"Maybe. Perhaps it is better. Perhaps it isn't. Shifting has its benefits. Its doubts. And the people..." He looked up at the stars and swallowed. "There were murderers before. There still are. Less, though. But the Society gets away with a lot more."

"That's true." I smiled sadly.

"The world was horrible before. Maybe it's even more horrific now."

I blinked back hot tears and nodded, then threw the cloak over myself.

"I'm not helping, am I?" Kaden chuckled softly. "Just remember: you bleed to know you're alive."

"How does that help?" I couldn't help but smile at the ridiculous comment.

"You'll figure it out some day."

I managed, somehow, to sleep. At least, I think I did—waking from a nightmare tends to symbolise waking from sleep. I'd dreamed that Leopards had been good guys and Tigers had joined the Society. The strangest thing was, upon opening my eyes and realising that my friends weren't laying dead at my feet, I wasn't sad, or surprised, or scared. There were no tears, no layer of sweat slicking my back, no chills down my spine.

There was just an overwhelming anger filling me.

It was like fire inside, as though someone had taken liquid heat and tipped it into me—and now it was spreading through the rest of my body. It coiled up into my chest, flooded down my legs, oozed into my arms. My mind went up in flames.

Before I could even comprehend it, a dagger was sticking out of the ground beside Kaden's head. The Archer seemed to swallow the light of the moon. I breathed heavily and then swept up my cloak and stalked off.

I could just leave. To say the thought never crossed my mind would be a massive lie. But I didn't. I might have had the ability to leave, to just walk away. But there was no way I could abandon my friends.

I had at least an hour until sunrise, so I occupied myself by skipping stones across the river downstream—though it was more like throwing stones into the water at odd angles.

After losing interest in the fading ripples (and running out of rocks) I decided to be a daredevil and climb the rocks beside the waterfall—it wasn't a very large one, I must admit. After all, what was the worst that could happen—I die? That seemed to be the worst-case scenario in everything I did recently.