Mr. Sandman

sixteen

I let out a loud sigh as the continuous sound of knocking sounded at my door. "Not this again," I muttered as I viciously threw the comforter off of my body. I pulled my white cardigan over my shoulders and trudged to the front door in a dazed rage. I looked to the window and saw it was still dark outside. "Who the hell," I mumbled as I looked into the peephole of my front door.

Judging by the posture and the dark hair, I knew it was Dan. I couldn't see his face, as he was looking down at the floor, but I immediately knew it was him. My breath caught in my throat as I thought back to the shoes that I had haphazardly thrown into my closet. I stood deathly still for a moment before he began to knock again. He looked up; his eyes were ready and puffy and his facial expression read pain. "Sophia, please open the door."

My heart softened and I unlocked the handle, throwing it open. The second the door had been fully open, he let out a loud sob and practically fell into me, taking me back a step. "Hey, hey, what's going on?" I asked and wrapped my arms around his lanky figure. He rattled from the violent shocks of tears that racked through his body. He tried to stand up fully, but couldn't seem to gather the emotional strength to do it. "C'mon let's go sit down," I whispered and he nodded, attempting to catch his breath.

I walked him slowly over to the couch in the living room and sat him down. He rested his elbows on his knees and began to attempt at regulating his breathing. "Dan, I know it's going to be hard, but you need to tell me what's going on so I can help you." I said, now fully awake and alert. He nodded his head slowly as his choked sobs slowly became more subdued.

"I was, I..." He began to try and speak. "I couldn't..."

It was no use. The violent attacks came back and it was apparent something else was going on. Not a second later, his phone began to ring. He shakily pulled it from the pocket of his black jeans, and it slipped from his fingers to the ground. He pointed a finger at the device and I picked it up, seeing it was Phil that was calling him.

"Phil," I said and I heard him sigh over the other end.

"Is Dan with you?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yes, do you know what's going on? He's having a hard time breathing and he can't talk to me."

"He's having a panic attack. He always has medicine in his car. I looked and his car isn't here, so he must've driven to your place. You need to go grab it, but you have to be quick. It's a little orange bottle in his center console. Give him one tab and make sure he drinks a full glass of water with it."

As Phil instructed me on what to do, I jumped from the couch and slipped shoes on. It was apparent Dan already knew what I was doing, for he had already placed his keys on the coffee table. I kept Phil on the line as I grabbed the keys. "I'll be right back," I whispered frantically. Dan was now stone still on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He nodded his head slowly. Phil told me to call him as soon as Dan took the medication. We hung up.

I didn't even bother grabbing a coat as I ran into the chilly London night. I saw Dan's vehicle parked along the sidewalk. I unlocked it and swiftly threw the passenger door open. I leaned across the leather seat and popped the center console open, grabbing the only orange medication bottle inside.

After rushing back upstairs, I ran back inside and saw Dan in the same position I last saw him in. I felt relieved, knowing he didn't try going anywhere. I grabbed a glass a filled it to the top with cold water. I went back into the living room and sat back down. Popping the top of the bottle off, I shook out a small white pill and grabbed Dan's hand; which was extremely clammy to the touch.

"Dan, you need to swallow this, okay?" I asked and he nodded slightly. He shakily raised his hand to his lips and took the pill. He attempted to sit up, but needed help. I slipped my hand behind his back and slowly helped him off the back of the couch so he could sit at full posture. He took the water next and drank it slowly, but surely. I left my hand on his back for reassurance, rubbing slowly circles.

He pulled the glass from his lips when he was halfway done. "Can I h-have a blanket? I'm cold." He mumbled under his breath, his eyelids fluttering slightly.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." I said softly. I went to my bedroom and grabbed a soft quilt-like blanket and brought it back for him. When I came back, the water was gone. He sat slightly slouched over, his eyes following me as I walked back to him. I handed him the blanket and he took it, nodding his head.

"Thank you, Sophia." He whispered and laid down on the couch.

I grabbed his phone and dialed Phil's number. "I'll be in the kitchen, okay?"

He smiled and nodded as I walked towards the other room.

"Is he okay?" Phil's anxious voice questioned the second he picked up.

"I think so," I said. "He's laying on the couch with a blanket now."

"Okay, good. That's normal. He sleeps for a while after taking that. Then he'll wake up and he'll be fine. Thank you so much. I don't know why he went to your house. That's really odd of him."

I paused for a moment, thinking of the right question to ask.

"Why does that happen?" I asked quietly, making sure Dan couldn't hear me from the other room. I heard Phil sigh on the other end, then a brief moment of silence.

"He's been having these since he was a teenager, so he told me. I think it's best you ask him why these happen. I couldn't even tell you for sure." He reasoned. I rested my elbows on the counter and put my forehead in my hand.

"I just, I don't know, I'm so confused about Dan right now. I know that sounds weird, but he hasn't really opened up about a whole lot to me and I just need to know what's going on."

Another silence greeted me.

"I know. You need to ask him directly. I wish I could help you, but it's all really personal stuff that I think you should hear from Dan."

After I hung up with Phil, I went back to the living room and saw Dan was now fast asleep, cuddled up with the blanket I had given him.

I sat on the couch he was sprawled on and moved his messy hair slightly off his forehead, which was burning up. His lips were just barely parted as he softly snored. I ran my hand down his cheek. How could someone so beautiful be so dark?

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hi i know you all hate me because it took me so long to update but let me tell you college and having a job sucks okay believe me when i say i would much rather be writing everyday of my life ugh. thanks for sticking around with me and leaving all the positive feedback. i could never ask for anymore. love you all. also, i know the gif doesnt match the chapter but dan howell gifs are getting harder to find SORRY ABOUT IT