Someone Somewhere (Sandra Alva)

The Mighty Fall

I didn’t know what to do I was so hurt so, broken. I needed to get out I need to be free, I need to get away. Sandra was still rubbing my back trying to clam me down it wasn’t helping, it just made me feel helpless and weak. I was weak and useless. Rolling over and burring my face into Sandra’s chest was I all I could do I was so alone I wanted to feel loved not broken not weak but loved.

I woke up in Sandra’s arms she didn’t leave me all night I had someone holding me making sure I was ok. Caring for me making me feel loved and wanted. I wriggled out of her grasp while not waking her up and I quickly plodded down ‘bunk ally’ and pulled out a pair of shoes and pulled them on, soon walking off the bus into the cold air of dawn. I shivered at the cold wind which kept blowing past me, but soon I was walking towards the street. I quickened my pace I needed to get to a drug store I needed to stop this problem before it got worst.

When I finally reached the drug store it had just gone 7am and the store was just opening, I walked in and the lady who was working alone stood at the counter with the look of discus on her face. She had way to much make up on and looked like a drag queen really and I just ended up quickly picking up a pregnancy test and some ‘the morning after pills.’ As I payed for them the lady just glared at me making me feel worst than I already was. I quickly walked out the store hearing “Slut” being yelled as the doors closed, I felt like a slut I hated how weak I was, I need to know if I was pregnant or not it was killing me I felt so dirty. I walked into the bathroom going in the first cubical and taking the test.

I looked at the test it had come out negative but it was to early I had to be sure it wasn’t, I threw out the test and pulled out the pills taking them and soon leaving the bathroom and heading back to the bus. It was still cold and I was shivering as in walked back to the bus, I reached the door opening it thanking that no one had locked it while I was gone. I stepped quietly onto the bus hoping not to wake anyone up, It would be so much easier not to have to explain why I was gone so early in the morning. I decided I would sit on the lounge and listen to music till someone got up, I plugged into my Ipod, pressing shuffled and playing ‘The Flood’ by Escape the Fate I just let my mind wander off into the music.

“Jay, oi Jay. Listen to me bitch” someone was yelling at me and pulling my hair. I looked up to see a tall male standing over me, he held a knife in one hand and my hair in the other, suddenly swinging the weapon at me hitting me dead in the stomach.

I woke up sweating and gasping for air, the bus was still quite the band was probably still asleep. I got up and walked into bunk ally. Opening my bunk and seeing it empty Sandra was gone and it seemed the whole band was missing. Suddenly I felt alone and scared, I tried to shake it of but it wouldn’t leave. I walked into the bathroom pulling the door closed getting ready to have a shower, I move past the mirror noticing a horrid shape in it, I looked in it once again. Alex’s hand reached out to me from the mirror and my reflexes took toll punching the image in the mirror. I noticed what I had done the pain in my hand didn’t hurt it felt relieving, I pulled a bit of smashed mirror off the ground and with out thinking I had slashed my wrist, I did it over and over till I collapsed.