Living In Secret

In the middle of the night my mother comes to steal me away.

I am still,reading under my covers with flashlight, half-listening for Daddy or his girlfriend Rosa,when I hear a muffled bump outside my window.I peek out from under the blankets but don't see anything except the faint glow from the streetlight.Then,all of a sudden,there she is.Mom puts a finger to her lips and motions for me.

I scramble out the bed and tiptoe across the room to unlock the window.We ease it open and it squeaks a little,but I don't think Daddy or Rosa will hear.The cold October wind blows in and makes me shiver.

Mom is standing on a ladder.She wearing jeans and a dark sweatshirt with the hood up.

"Are you ready?" she whispers then I nodded in reply

I pull on a pair of jeans and sweater.Mom gesture for me to hurry.She is nervous standing there on the ladder.Someone might see her and think she's burglar.I don't know no one on Clover Lane would be up at three o'clock in the morning.

I jam my feet into purple hightop sneakers.Then I drag my packed suitcase out from under the bed.I have all the things Mom said I should take like my favorite clothes,pictures of me Daddy's photos albums, and important papers,like my birth certificate,which I had to steal from Daddy's desk drawer.

Mom goes down the ladder first,carrying the suitcase under one arm.I look around my room one last time,letting the flashlight's glow flicker silently across the bed,the ruffled dresser,my TV and phone, the empty poster stand in the corner.It's a pretty room,but I've never felt like it was mine.Rosa picked out almost everything before we moved into this new house three years ago.

I shut off the flashlight,place it on my bookshelf and turn back to the window.Mom is a bottom of the ladder,looking up waiting for me.We have been waiting to be together for a long time.I climb out feet first and step doward,one rung at a time.

When I reach the ground,Mom hands me my suitcase,folds up the metal ladder,and it sideways so she can carry it.She scuffs away the marks the ladder made in the ground with her got foot.I bend over, scoop up a handful of moist red and yellow leaves from under the big maple tree and toss them around to cover our footprints.

We ease around to the front house and down the cement driveway.The street is dark and silent.I except to Janey's truck with white lettering on its doors

HEROLDS &COMPANY

HOUSEPAINTERS

INSIDE &OUT

but Janey is waiting at corner in a small U-Haul.She gets out and smiles at me.I haven't seen her in a while.

Mom and Janey hoist the ladder into the back of the truck.It clatters a little and I look around, thinking someone will throw open a door and shout, "What's going on out there?"but no one does.My suitcase joins two others in the U-Haul.

Mom motions for me to climb in front.Janey puts the gearshift in neutral, she and mom push the truck silently around the corner.I look back just once the house I've lived in since I was eight.