Chapter 49

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Chapter 49

Jack let out his breath. He sat back down at his desk and rested his head on his arm. He was so bloody tired. He slowly got up and lay down on his bed. He was torn between his head and his heart.

Madeline headed towards the deck and saw that everything was under control. She asked Gibbs how the prisoners were faring before heading towards the galley. She prepared a tray of food and a bottle of rum and returned to Jack's cabin. She knocked quietly and when she didn't receive an answer, she slowly pushed the door open. She saw Jack lying on his bed with his eyes closed. She set the tray on the desk and saw his journal sitting there. As if it was calling to her. She turned away and took the blanket off of her bunk and covered Jack with it. She smiled when he mumbled something in his sleep. She straightened the cabin. Taking careful care with his desk, but not touching his journal

Jack was dreaming, he woke up to find her gone and he was searching the house for her, "Maddy," he murmured. He reached out across the bed. "Maddy," he once again called.

Madeline turned when she heard his voice. She could see he was dreaming. Should she wake him? She saw him moving in the bed.

In his dream Jack was running, running toward the docks, searching for her, had she been taken from him or had she left him. Why would she leave? "Maddy," he called his voice not hiding his fear.

Madeline looked at him with fear. What was he dreaming about? She hurried to the side of the bed and took his hand in hers. "Jack, wake up. You're dreaming." she said softly.

Jack sat up with a jolt. "Maddy," he called still half asleep. He looked at her, "Ye left me cause ye were pregnant," he growled. "Ye left me and knowingly took my child away from me, why Maddy, what did I do to deserve that?" He asked.

Madeline looked at him in shock as his hands tightened on her upper arms. "Jack I'm sorry. I was scared. Scared that ye wouldn't want me or us. I didn't know what else to do Jack." she cried as she winced in pain.

"All I've ever done is love ye, what did I ever do to make ye think I would ever reject ye or our child?" Jack asked bitter hot tears were stinging his eyes as he pulled her down on the bed and held her there. "What did I do?" he screamed.

Madeline cried as she saw his tears. "I heard ye talking to Gibbs the night I left. Ye told him ye would never leave the sea. That you loved me but the true love of your life was the Pearl. Your only love and ye had no room in your heart for anything else." she cried. "The sea is your life Jack. I panicked when I heard you. I didn't know what else to do."

"Just like the part in me journal love ye only heard part." Jack growled.

Madeline sobbed. "Perhaps I"m the fool then." she struggled to get up.

Jack tightened his grip, "Do ye want to know what I am thinking right now Maddy?" he asked.

Madeline looked at him. Did she want to know? "What?" she whispered hoarsley.;-)

"I wish I'd never met ye. If it weren't for JJ I'd put me hands around yer throat and strangle ye." Jack growled. "Why bother telling me about JJ at all? Why bother telling me ye loved me if ye thought ye couldn't compete with the sea," he growled.

"What are ye waiting for then Jack? Kill me then ye can have yer son all to yourself." She hissed and pushed him off of her with all of her strength. He fell on the floor. She scurried off the bed and headed for the door. "I didn't plan on getting pregnant Jack. When I did, I was so damn happy. And a few days after I discovered I was, that was when I heard ye talking to Gibbs. I knew I couldn't change you." She yelled at him. "I wouldn't have changed anything about you."

Jack got up and was across the room before she could even think of getting out. He grabbed her arms and pulled her back toward the bed, she screamed and he backhanded her sending her down on the bed. "I can't kill ye cause I love ye." he growled. He backed away until he hit the wall, "I love ye damn it, I love ye but ye don't believe me." He said and slid down the wall. He raised his knees and sobbed into his folded arms like a child.

Madeline wiped the blood from her lip and sat up. She watched as Jack sobbed. She stood and locked the door. She moved towards Jack and moved his hands away from his face. "Jack, look at me. Please." she whispered.

Jack clung to her and buried his face in her lap, "Maddy." he sobbed wanting only for her to hold him.

Madeline wrapped her arms around him and couldn't stop her own tears. She stroked his hair. "Oh Jack. Forgive me. Forgive me for being a fool."

Jack looked at her, "Oh god what have I done?" he said taking her face into his hands. "I'm going mad, I know it... ye shouldn't be with me, ye don't deserve this." He said. He quickly got up and went to the basin of water he kept on hand. He found a clean rag and wet it. He rushed to her and began gently wiping the blood away. "I've no right to touch ye," he murmured.

Madeline took the rag out of his hand and cupped his face in her hands. "I'm right where I want to be Jack. With you." She traced his lips with her thumbs and looked deep into his eyes. "Ye have every right to touch me Jack." she whispered.

"I've caused ye too much pain... we've hurt each other too much," Jack told her.

"Aye we have Jack. The fault lies on both our parts." she said quietly, not taking her hands from his face. "But I would rather die than be apart from you any longer Jack. Especially here." she said moving one hand to his heart as tears fell from her eyes. She looked back up at him. "Ye are the only man I've ever loved Jack Sparrow. The only man I will love until my dying day. Whether that be fifty years or tomorrow."

Jack moved away from her, "Don't say things like that to me. Ye've betrayed me and yet I am to stand here and believe ye love me. No, all I care about is finding my son. Nothing else matters if something happens to him," he said and rushed from the room. Suddenly all he wanted was to get to Singapore and find Pang then find his son.

Madeline watched as he rushed from the room. She wiped her tears away and washed her face. Jack was right. If they didn't find their son, there would be no hope for them. Nothing to keep them together. She put the sheet back up separating the bunk from the rest of the cabin. It had been another long day. She slowly walked up the stairs and saw Jack at the wheel once again. The sun was setting and she knew he wouldn't stop until they reached Singapore. She turned as she saw Gibbs coming up from below. "Mr. Gibbs."

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