To Love Or Not To Love

Prologue

Prologue:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:5-7

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In everything you do, you always have another option.

Another choice you could make.

There’s always some sort of effect of either of those choices, and you consider these consequences, unless you’re an idiot who just happens to be in love, or something along the lines of it.

I can’t say this from personal experience of course, but I can  using the powers of observation and many popular novels- that I must admit, are in some ways very appealing.

Love makes you do stupid things.

You don’t consider the other option- you just tend to do whatever for the one you love.

Personally, I would like to think that I’m semi- sane enough to make the right decision.

You have family love, and friend love then you have love love.

Family love is something- as hard as you try- cannot deny. As much as you try to dislike your sibling, or you parents after they don’t let you go to the party of the year, you can’t.

You family is just there. In some ways to teach you the simpler facts of love- your parents are there to be your parents- in some cases, to snag money from or go shopping with, but they are there.

Your brother or sister… Why they are there only God knows.

I guess they make life more… interesting.

A younger one to show to how you used to be, or an older one to show you what to be ready for, and most of the time show you what not to do.

My older sister- wherever in the world she was- has come in handy for both these things.

She left about a year ago, after she had her heart broken when she graduated.

The guy cheated, and she found out, and the person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with just ended up making her leave everything and want to get away.

And now, Rebecca had been travelling the world, calling during very inconvenient times because of the time difference.

I missed her, but not intentionally.

After she left, the house got rather quiet without constant parties or the clacking of heels.

I think I miss her more than my parents who were always out on business trips because Becks had always been fun to annoy when I was bored and my parents were in their office working.

So naturally, when everyone left, I was by myself going on constant dates with homework and assignments.

My spare time was spent doing favours that I clung to so I could keep myself from dying of boredom.

A place of relief for me was the local orphanage, a place I visited weekly.

This brings me to friend love. The love you have for friends- especially people that have been there since the beginning, or people who have touched in some major way that you have befriended.

A little girl, Julie, was once there.

I found her at an orphanage when I was fifteen, and she was six. Her parents had passed away and no one in her family would take her in. She was disabled and crippled. She could talk just fine but her body... Well her body was different.

She told me about her life. Everything she had to go through. I was in so much despair hearing her small delicate voice hiccupping as she tried to hold back the tears. After she told me her story, I just had to bring some light into her eyes- I asked her what she would like to do.

She told me she wanted to go to the beach. This meant that I would have to take her out of the orphanage- which meant I had to ask for permission.

The woman that looked after her at that orphanage is the most blessed person I have ever met. She let me take little Julie out to the beach, which was where I bought her ice cream.

I asked her why she chose to come here. She said it was the place where her parents would take her every Friday at sunset. I was speechless.

There was one experience I gave her. Her first feel of the ocean water.

We sat just at the right spot on the shore. Just our toes getting slightly damp.

Oh how much she loved it. She would laugh every time the water tickled her toes.

I picked her up and slowly glided her toes along the beach floor, the sand sliding through her toes, while she giggled.

We watched the sunset and then I got her back into her wheelchair to drop her off to the orphanage.

I visited this girl every day for the next two years until she died on the 17th of September 2010, a few days after her 11th birthday, from a sudden shut down of her body.

With the money I had, I contributed to her funeral. I put a perfect pink rose on her casket before she was taken away.

Pink roses for admiration.

The little pink rose was the exact way she was to me.

All her imperfections made her the perfect person- my best friend.

Pink was the colour her cheeks got that day we were on the beach as she laughed so much. Pink is also her favourite colour. Pink is the dress I bought for her that she treasured so much.

The rose is because she had so much love and good in her heart.

I loved Julie like a sister, and it hurt to let her go.

We had become very good friends throughout the time I had gotten to know her, but she left.

Without knowing, I had made the choice to love the little girl, and when she left, I experienced my first great loss.

This then leads me to love love. The crazy thing that makes the world spin round.

The thing that stumps me every time. How on earth do you explain it?

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