Perfect Redemption

Ten: In Which She Hates Her Job

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      "Wait... you got a job as a what?" Belle's voice rings in my ears. I have to put the phone on loudspeaker so I won't get deaf from her shrill voice.

I needed to call Belle today for a couple of reasons. I'm not the one to chicken out on my first day on the job—actually, I wouldn't know considering the fact that this is my first job—but I definitely feel a little bit nervous. And I know I could count on Belle to make it all go away. And also, if I didn't tell her about the job, Belle would hear it from Ben or some other source and she will cut me.

Blind or not blind, she will do it. After a few months of being friends with her, I learn not to underestimate her.

"A bodyguard," I hiss. "Jax's bodyguard."

"Oh my god." She starts laughing. "This is hilarious. You? Protect Jax? I mean—isn't he like really strong and really capable of handling himself? From the way Ben describe him to me, I can tell he's really muscular and buff and really, really fine-"

"Focus, Belle, focus!" I snap my fingers. "I know he's more than capable to protecting himself. Hell, he'll most likely be protecting me if something ever happens, not the other way around."

"True." I can picture Belle nodding. "But you know, if Baxton saw something in you, you must be special."

"Yeah, well, I don't know what he's doing, but he's not hiring me for my skills. Because I definitely lack of it." I sigh.

"That Baxton guy—he's sketchy," Belle murmurs. "But what can you do now anyway? He gave you the job. And you do need the money. I'm not going to lend you anymore money to spend on Caffeinated coffee. At least now, you can afford that shit on your own."

I laugh. "Sorry, Belle. I promise I'll buy my own coffee next time."

"Don't worry too much about this job, alright?" Belle says, her voice growing softer. "It's just a job. You don't have to like the Jax guy. But..." she pauses for the while, then continues, "Do you... like the Jax guy?"

"What? No way!" I say. "He's all the things I don't want in a man."

"That just makes him all the more right for you," she teases. "You really need to have a love life, Blaire. And before you say you do, I'm going to stop you right there because Ben. Doesn't. Count. You need someone who can be there for you when you need them. Someone you can count on. Someone that you feel comfortable around with. I'll always be here babe, but not for long. It's only a matter of time before someone looks past the whole blind thing and sweeps me off my feet-"

"Okay, you really need to stop watching those rom coms. Those movies make you set realistic expectations on love," I tell her, "and calm down. Love can wait. I got more important things to do."

"Like what?"

I want to tell her about Eden and my plan for getting him out, but the words just get lodged in my throat. I'm scared that if I tell her, she'll tell me to stop stealing. She'll call my entire plan off because she will think it's ridiculous and stupid.

And yeah, maybe it is all of that. But I don't care.

My life feels so empty without Eden. I feel like I'm living life with a hole in my heart. I need him like I need air. He's the sole reason why I'm still living.

Belle won't get that. Nobody will. Hell, the only person I did tell doesn't even support my plan. So what's the point to telling Belle too? Nobody will back me up on this.