Perfect Redemption

Nineteen: In Which He Kisses And Tells

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[ J A X ' S     P O V ]

The car ride back home is silent.

Blaire takes her place in the front seat, her arms cocooning her brother, who's vast asleep. His head is on her shoulder and his mouth is pressed into a thin line, a dash of drool running down the edge of his mouth. Blaire notices this and smiles a little, taking the sleeve of her shirt and wiping it off his chin.

Even though I'm driving, I can't help but constantly look at her, trying to figure out what is going on in that mind of hers, especially after what I just told her not less than an hour ago. Even though I know she told me that she'll be here for me, I'm still worried. Worried about what she might think of me now that she knows some of the bad things I've done.

I don't know what I was thinking when I told her. Maybe I just wanted to comfort her. She's been so upset about Ben and I just wanted to let her know that I've done worse. A hell lot worse.

I peek another glance at Blaire and I catch her staring at me too. I don't know what else to do so I hold her gaze, pursing my lips as I grip the steering wheel harder. She looks down slightly, her dark hair falling over her face, as she strokes her brother's back, but her eyes never leave me. She just watches me from the corner of her eye.

Although I have told her about what happened a few months ago, I'm a little ashamed to admit that I haven't exactly told her everything yet. I didn't mention about the nightmares I've been having about Sienna that have been plaguing me ever since I came to LA.

     I guess I'm scared that if I do, she might think that I'm insane. Besides, a little part of me thinks that the nightmares will go away soon enough. Hopefully it does so I would spare myself the embarrassment of telling Blaire.

"We're here," I announce, pulling over the mansion. Blaire nods and I help her out of the car. She cradles Eden in her petite arms, and I'm almost afraid that she might break them. But then again, I remember that I should not underestimate her strength to I help her with her other stuff as she carries him inside the mansion.

"Guest room?" I ask.

"Yeah." She nods and I lead her there. She places him on the bed gently and I quickly grab some pillows and some sheets. I place them on the bed, arranging them so Eden has a good sleep. Blaire unrolls the sheets and covers Eden up with them.

After a while, Blaire lets out a small sigh  and then turns off the light, then heads out of the guest room.

"You sure he'll be alright there? You don't want him to sleep with you?" I ask, folding my arms over my chest.

She nods. "Eden will be fine. He loves me, but he keeps telling me that he needs his space. He's growing up—he wouldn't want to be caught dead sharing a bed with his sister."

That makes me grin. "Eden's really something, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is." She says, her eyes gazing at the guest room.

She clears her throat, and an uncomfortable silence stretches, falling upon the both of us like a blanket. It's weird because this has never happened between us before.

"Right," I drawl, the grin receding just as fast as it came. "I take it as my cue to leave-"

"Wait." I feel her hand clamp down on my wrist. I turn around and met her grey eyes. Such a beautiful shade, especially under the night light. "I'm—I'm not tired. I don't want to go to sleep just yet. Do... you want to keep me company?"