Choices. (Completed) A Bam Brown Alaskan Bush People story

Chapter 6

The mood was somber in the small waiting room of the emergency room of the hospital. Only Matt's parents had been allowed in to see him and the rest of the family sat anxious and quiet in the uncomfortable cloth and wood chairs. We had already found out that Matt's head wound wasn't as serious as we had thought and he would only need to stay overnight in the hospital for observation. But the whole family drew tightly together and you could see the concern that was evident on every face.

I sat stiffly beside Bam and tried to decide if I should touch him or try to hold him in some way to offer comfort. We weren't even technically dating since we had just met and only shared the briefest of kisses before everything flew out of control. Dina, sitting beside me was bouncing her left leg and rubbing the top of her thigh. I had known her long enough to know that was a clear sign that she was extremely tense.
"Dina." I placed my hand on her thigh to stop the bouncing and gave her a weak smile. Her forehead was creased and her eyes were wide.
"Obie, what are we going to do?" She whispered in my ear. "We don't even know these people and here we are hanging out at a hospital with them."

I knew exactly what she meant. I l glanced over at Bam who had his arm draped around the shoulder of his youngest sister, Rainy. He had introduced Dina and I to his parents and his two sisters as soon as we arrived at the hospital with Gabe and Bear. There was a short awkward moment as Dina and I tried to explain how we knew the guys and what had happened with Matt. Bam's dad Billy had simply watched us quietly as we spoke and nodded his head. When we were finished telling them everything, Bam's mom Ami had opened her arms with a smile and hugged us both at the same time. It was such a kind gesture and so unexpected, I felt a rush of tears to my eyes but fought to blink them back.

"What do we do now?" Dina clearly wanted to get out of there and leave the family to take care of Matt. She was the sweetest girl I knew and I loved her like a sister, but commitment was always hard for her. And considering all that had happened in the forty-five minutes since she met Matt at the café, I knew she was itching to cut and run. "This is so not how I expected this night to go." Her knee started bouncing again.
"Dina?" I put my mouth close to her ear as I whispered. Just stay until his parents come back out. Then we can get an update on Matt and then leave." I really didn't want to leave at all. I wanted to stay as close as I could to Bam. So much was still unclear between us. And the fact that his family was staying in a hotel told me they didn't live in Juneau so I was afraid if I walked away too soon, I might lose touch with him altogether.

"I can't Obie." Her voice was anguished. "I need to go now. I'll drop you off at your place." She stood up and held her hand out for her car keys. As I pressed them into her hands, I whispered back sadly.
"I have to stay, Dina. Will you be ok to drive home by yourself?" At her nod, I squeezed her to me in a hug and watched silently as she walked out of the wide double doors to her car.

Six pair of eyes followed her as she stepped out the door, then six pair of eyes shifted back to look at me. I dropped my gaze and dropped heavily into the chair. Bam hadn't said more than two words to me since we sat down and I wondered if I was doing the right thing by staying. I looked down at my hands folded in my lap and worked up the courage to say something - anything - to Bam. But before I could say a word, a shadow fell over me. I didn't want to look up because I was afraid of who it might be and I was afraid to hear what he might say.

"Obie?" Bear reached out and touched my folded hands. As I lifted my head, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bam turn to look at me. At Bear.
"Heeeey, Bear." I looked up at him, unsure what to say.
"Can I get you something to drink? Some water or a pop?" His voice was quiet but at the same time I could see the anticipation in them. He reminded me of a live wire, humming with electricity. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bam staring at me. His gaze made me so uncomfortable I felt the heat start to rise in my face. Was he still thinking I was going to run away with one of his brothers? If we had been alone I would have back-handed him in the chest and told him to get over himself. But we weren't alone and I didn't know him that well yet. And I make sure to only smack people I'm sure wont smack me back.

"No, Bear. But thanks. I'm ok." I smiled at him for a brief moment and then dropped my head again. I needed to look away from his smile that was only adding to my confusion. It wasn't as if Bam had professed his love for me or anything. I pressed my shoulders back against the chair and folded my hands in my lap again. This was turning out to be a strange, incredible evening and my body was in such turmoil that I thought I might need to go find a hospital bed to lie in myself.

Before I could settle myself enough to trust my voice to speak to Bam, I saw Gabe stand up and begin walking over to me, his wide shoulders swaying. "Oh, please, no." I silently begged but Gabe's gait was steady and he reached my chair and lowered himself down to squat in front of me, his hands on my knees.

"Is there anything I can get you?" His voice was so gentle and kind and as I looked into his open face I remembered how gently he held me when we were dancing. And I really wanted to be held right then and it struck me that the last time Bam had touched me was to push me out of the way to get to his brother Matt. My mind whirled as I fought to decide what and who I wanted.

I thought again of how beautiful Matt was and how just looking at him stirred so many feelings in me. Then I looked over at Bear who was so wild and impulsive and just as I looked at him he looked at me and his smile was so amazing that it took my breath away. Noah shifted in his seat and I looked into his eyes so full of intelligence and gentleness. He raised one eyebrow at me and I looked away quickly. Then I brought my eyes back up to look at Gabe. His grin was sweet and alive and I knew the seconds were stretching out as I made Gabe wait for his answer. And in those moments I realized Gabe wasn't just asking to bring me something to eat or drink. He was asking me right then and there to make my choice.

Making choices had always come easy to me. When I decided to move to Juneau, I simply scheduled the movers to come one day and scheduled my garage sale for the next. No problem at all. When I chose to re-make myself, chopping off the long hair I had worn since high school, it was a matter of walking into the salon and saying, 'Do it!' to the startled hairdresser. I knew exactly what would happen when I made those decisions. But this one? There were more unknowns than knowns. If Bam and his family didn't live in Juneau, then where did they live? Whichever brother I chose, would I be able to look the others in the eye after that? And what if I chose one and he had changed his mind and didn't want me?

"Life is such a crap-shoot, isn't it?" I thought bitterly to myself. So as I mentally ran through the list of qualities I wanted in a man, I contemplated Matt's beauty, Bear's impulsiveness, Noah's intelligence and Gabe's strength. And then I chose the one who had it all. I reached over and laid my hand on Bam's knee. "No, Gabe. I'm fine here. Thanks." Gabe smiled a little sadly as he stood back up and walked over to sit back down next to Bear.

With my head down, it took me by surprise when Bam reached over and picked up my hand and brought it to his lips, his soft mustache tickling against my skin.
"They knew it was me you wanted all along." Bam's arm went around my shoulders and I looked up into his smiling face. "My brothers just like to mess with me."

My crazy laugh had boomed out of me before I knew it. "And you let them put me through all this tonight?!" I wanted to be angry at Bam but I was so glad to know he still wanted to be with me that all I could do was wrap my arms around him and press my cheek to his. His sister's tiny smile was sweet as she gently nudged her older sister and nodded her head toward our embrace.

"I knew you weren't going anywhere." Bam whispered softly in my ear.
"I knew you had already made your choice."