The Singer and The Drummer

New Beginning

Ryan's POV
It's been almost two days since Ronnie's found out about my cutting. I know he was trying to help me stop, but it wasn't really helping to be truthful. He got rid of my blades, with my consent, but the part that was the worst on my physical and emotional state is how I view myself:an ugly, pale, fat shit. When I felt like I was gaining too much weight, I wouldn't eat, which is what was happening now.

"Ryan, please.", Ronnie pleaded softly, pointing at the bowl of fried rice and Mongolian chicken on my plate. We were at one of the Asian restaurants we like to frequent whenever we go to Nashville to visit my family and some friends. "I'm sorry, but I just can't, Ronnie.", I sighed softly, watching as his expression fell. I know this hurt him as much as it hurt me, but that's not how I want it to be. "Ronnie, I'm sorry. Just break up with me, I'm not worth this.", I said after a moment, looking up at him. His expression was absolutely offended and enraged. "How'd that help? I'd still love you, and hopefully you'd still love me. It'd hurt us both worse in the long run, now eat your goddamn food Ryan.", Ronnie growled at me, and I knew not to disobey. I ate a few bites, like usual, but a bit more after I grew hungry again.

Ronnie ate his food with a pout on his cute face, until he stood and paid the bill, then we left to go back to my parents' house. They weren't at home since they were on photography business in New York, leaving us at the large, private home by ourselves. When we got inside, making sure the entrances were locked and secure for the night, we went upstairs to what used to be my bedroom when I was younger, where there was now a queen sized bed and a TV for guests. I went to pull more of my things out of my suitcase so I could take a shower and shave(yes, I shave my legs, everything. No, it's really not strange for a guy like me, that has basically the taller version of a regular, petite female body, to shave everywhere). I told Ronnie that I'd be in the bathroom if he needed me, only getting a soft hum in response since most of his focus was on his phone. I shrugged mentally, whatever, but if he yells for me I'm not going to get out of the shower just to make him a sandwich or something just because he's still hungry.

I dragged a clean pair of boxers and a towel, my shaving razor, then went to the bathroom and shut the door. When I was halfway done, having just gotten through shaving and about to lather my hair with shampoo, I heard the door to the bathroom open and close none too quietly. I opened my mouth to go tell him to make his own food since I was busy, but stopped when a naked Ronnie Radke joined me in the shower. My mouth remained open. I got to see Ronnie naked quite a bit but not for long since it was usually only when he was changing his clothes. This was definitely better. Seeing Ronnie dripping wet in the hot shower with you, kind of one of your wet dream fantasies.

Ronnie pressed me up against the tiled shower wall while the warm water sprayed down on us both, not speaking until I gasped, which I assume is what he was waiting for; a reaction. "Have you been thinking about me?", I asked finally being able to get the words out when I felt a warmth press against my inner thigh. "I'm always thinking about you, it's just that this time was more sexually frustrating than the others, and jerking off to just the thought of it wasn't enough, so I came in here.", Ronnie replied, kissing my neck softly, repeatedly moving up and down before he started to gently nip and suck at my sensitive skin. I gasped his name softly as he moaned against my skin, rutting against my thigh gently so I wouldn't get scared and stop the whole situation altogether. I threaded my fingers through his wet hair, pushing the dark strands back so they weren't in my way of looking at the tattoos along his beautiful face.

Before I could do anymore, he slid down my body to his knees, my fingers still threaded into his dark hair. He gently kissed over one of my deeper cuts, making me push him away. He didn't need to do that, he didn't need to look at them or kiss them. They made me worse than I already was. He sighed and looked up at me. "Please?", he asked simply. I wasn't very sure exactly what he was referring to, but I hesitantly sighed and nodded.

He moved back and kissed along my scars and cuts gently, his soft lips laving over both of my thighs that were littered in red, long cuts. When he was done kissing over each scar and cut, he looked up at me once more with a genuine smile. "You're beautiful, Ryan.", I shook my head. "You don't have to say that, Ronnie.", I sighed softly. He stood up and cupped my face with his hands. "I know, but I want to. I can't lie, you know I hate liars.", Ronnie kissed my nose gently. "You're beautiful, Ryan Eric Seaman. I know you don't want to do anything with me because of your scars, but they don't matter to me, you're just as beautiful with them as you would be without them.", he pecked my lips softly. "And I'll wait, however long you want to. I don't need sex.", Ronnie reassured me. To be truthful, this kind of changed my whole perspective. Now I REALLY wanted to have sex, but not in the shower...I'll talk to Derek about it, he'll tell Ronnie what to do...I'll call him when we go back home.

We kissed for a while until the water started to get freezing cold. I stopped the shower and we both dried off, mostly Ronnie drying me off because I was 'his baby'. Right. I pulled my boxers on, Ronnie doing the same, before he picked me up with his tattooed arms wrapped around my small waist, and carried me back to the bedroom we were using.

We fell asleep cuddled into each other, Ronnie wrapped around my smaller form protectively.

To be continued...