Her Calling

A Weak Resolution

When he knocked at her door later in the evening, he was wearing the shoes she had bought. They finished their meal in silence. She washed her plate with the water stored in a drum; then he took his turn. When he was done, he found her sitting on the edge of the bed. He walked over to the wall facing her and stood leaning against it. At long last, he cleared his throat and spoke, "I am a mortal man, Rupali. Not a Mahatma, not a divine avatar. I like a hot, tasty meal as much as anyone else. These ergonomic, padded shoes comfort me as much as they would comfort the person next door. And I can get as used to these comforts as anyone else. You care enough to bring me these comforts. But what will I do once you are gone?"

"Why must I be gone?"

"You are young, Rupali. Your entire life is ahead of you. How can you throw it away without even exploring it?"

"Are you throwing yours away?"

"These mountains, these people - they are my calling. I followed my calling, Rupali. What are you following? Or are you just running away from something?"

"I like it here."

"But are you sure you won't like going for higher studies better? Won't you like to pursue your research..."

"Research?"

"My intrusion was unintentional, please forgive me. But I have seen the journal papers you were working with..."

"You got me started on that..."

"You can't complete that sitting here."

"Fine," she replied after a pause, "Let me finish the six months I had committed. Then I will rethink. "

Her lips were drawn in a straight line and she wasn't looking at him. She wasn't happy!

But he was doing the right thing. He had to be content with that. "Fair enough. Good night, Rupali."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

He sighed and looked away.

"You don't have to lie. You can say 'yes'," she pursued, "I won't be offended."

"'Yes' would have been easier to say. It would have been the right thing to say."

"Why? What is wrong in wanting me here?"

"I'm afraid you are here for wrong reasons."

--

Shanti came to his house the next morning just as he was about to leave for Rupali's place. She had brought him breakfast. Rupali had asked her to.

"Is she well?" he asked tentatively. They always had breakfast and dinner at her place.

"She looked fine. Why? Is something wrong? Should I go back and ask?"

"No. I just wondered. Thank you, Shanti."

Earlier that morning, he had woken up to an SMS telling him that she didn't feel like going for a jog and he shouldn't wait for her. She deposited his packed lunch in his office while he was not there and sent him dinner again through Shanti.