Insight (Editing)

NINE

I had to clasp my hand over my mouth to stop myself from shouting his name. I didn't want him to know I was there. Not now, not ever. I wished I had never met him, because at least then my heart would still be in tact, without cracks or the black anger that now grew  within, poisoning my blood and intoxicating my mind. He had done that. Made me into this love obsessed girl with far too many feelings.

I watched him smile at her with the same flirty grin he gave all the pretty girls. I thought he smiled at me differently. I thought he smiled at me like I wasn't some prize or conquest, but someone who he had genuine interest in. I thought I was different.

But I never was. Clearly, I was just another girl he thought he could string along. Why was I naive and stupid enough to believe that he liked me? Why did I believe his lies so quickly? Someone like him could never be with someone like me.

I turned away. I couldn't watch it anymore. I started walking, but I had no idea where to. My vision was blurry form tears and the world was as messed up as I felt. My surroundings were nothing but a swirl in the water in front of my eyes. I tried to concentrate on the sound of my foot steps on the concrete and the light breeze rustling the trees but I couldn't. All I could hear was the faint sound of her laughter in the distance. They were probably laughing at me. They were mocking me and my naivety.

That's when I noticed her laughter had stopped and the sound of footsteps pounding into the pavement behind me made me want to walking faster. A lot faster.

"Cassie. Wait, Cassie!"

His voice cut through me like knives. I didn't want to wait. I didn't want an explanation because it would have all been lies anyway. I carried on walking, hanging my head to hide my tears. I must have looked so pathetic.

"Slow down, please! Let me explain!" he pleaded, as he kept up his pace in persist of me.

"Damon, don't. Just go back to your girlfriend, I get it." I replied, still looking away. I tried to make my voice steady but I was failing miserably, my pitch wobbly.

"She's not my girlfriend Cassie. You are." His voice came across so innocent, a trick I had already mistakenly fallen for once before. I wasn't his girlfriend and I would be a fool to believe that again.

"Damon. Stop lying. I'm not stupid. I was never you're girlfriend and I never meant anything to you."

I had slowed down by this point, realising that I was much further ahead by a few metres, and it was getting harder to hear his responses, both physically and emotionally.

"Cassie, you're overreacting! Of course I care about you. Do you seriously think that I would be chasing you right now if I didn't?"

I could hear that he was getting angry, and I was glad. Maybe he was starting to feel as mad as I was. I wanted him to feel the pain I did. I stopped in my tracks so suddenly I heard him skid slightly behind me. My blood was boiling under my skin now and it was so hot in was searing my flesh and melting my heart.

"You think that I'm overreacting? Oh my God! Are you stupid Damon? Don't you get why I'm so angry?" I was shouting so loud but I couldn't help it. Words kept falling out of my mouth that I could contain anymore.

"Cassie! Stop shouting! I think you're being ridiculous. It was just one kiss. Can we just forget it please?"

"No, Damon. No we can't. Don't bother following me. Leave me alone."