Without Chance

Chapter Six: First Confession

I don't know how long I held him there. I didn't care, either. I was there for as long as he needed me. And, I realized, I needed him too. I hadn't cried since my mother died. When at last he had cried himself out, we held each other for a while longer. Eventually, he pulled away, wiping at his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Ryan," he said, his voice rough.

"No," I replied, my own voice raspy. "It's cool. Just don't go spreading it around, okay? They hate me enough here as it is." He smiled softly, reaching up one hand to wipe at the tears on my own cheek.

"Trust me, I won't breathe a word of it to anyone. Wouldn't be good for my reputation, either," he gave me a rueful smile. I looked away, remembering the meeting with my dad and the principal. He noticed the look and frowned. "What?"

"I don't want to tell you. You've got a lot on your mind already," I told him. His frown darkened.

"It's obviously bothering you, Ryan. Tell me," he insisted.

"It's just..." I wasn't sure how to begin. "My meeting with the principal. He called my dad." Chance stared steadily at me, so I continued. "It was about you."

"What did they tell you?" he asked in a carefully controlled tone. He looked worried, but maybe a little bit resigned, too.

"That I shouldn't be friends with you," I started hesitantly, but as I spoke, my anger trickled back in. "I think they think you're some kind of bad influence or something. I have no idea where they got that. My dad even said my relationship with you isn't healthy. As if he'd know, we've been friends not even a week and he's never even met you."

"Only a week," Chance said, as if to himself. He noticed me looking at him and smiled. "Just feels like I've known you forever, you know?" I smiled and nodded. I did know. I'd never felt this close to anyone, and I had known him for only a few days, and two of those days were the weekend where I hadn't seen him at all. Then something occurred to me.

"When I told you it was about you, you didn't say what about, you didn't ask what for, you asked what they told me," I said, though not harshly. Never harshly to Chance. He flinched as if I'd raised a hand. After a moment, he sighed.

"There are a lot of important things you don't know about me yet, Ryan," he said with a solemnity rare in his usually smiling features. "Things I can't tell you. Things it's not really safe for you to know."

I stared into his unfathomable eyes, searching. All I saw was his sincerity, and his concern for me. No guile, no deception, just sincerity and concern. Finally, I nodded.

"Okay," I replied. He blinked.

"Okay?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Okay. I trust you," I told him. His eyes seemed to grow even deeper as he smiled slowly. He reached up, and with the tips of his fingers tucked an errant strand of hair back behind my ear. It was a remarkably gentle gesture, I thought. I was okay with it though. I kind of liked it. He seemed to come to a conclusion at that moment.

"There is one big thing I can tell you, which is why a lot of the students here hate me," he said. "Only thing is, I'm afraid you'll hate me for it, too."

"Chance, the one thing I can never do is hate you," I told him. I hadn't realized it was absolutely true until I said it, but it was. "If you're ready to share, just spit it out."

"I'm... not really normal," he began seriously. I knew he was leading into something, but I decided he needed to be lightened up a little.

"Not telling me anything new there," I said.