Behind Her Shields

Chapter Four

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Chapter Four

Natalie

            Pain… It was all I felt as I jolted up in bed. I could feel my heart beating a mile a minute. My chest felt tight and it was a struggle to breathe. Something was wrong. I knew it and for some reason, I knew it had to deal with Thomas.

            Without thinking, I stumbled out of bed and threw on some clothes before grabbing my keys. I didn’t know where I was going but I was just following my instinct. For some reason, I knew wherever I was going would be where Thomas was.

            It took me a bit to get where I was going but when I finally shut off the car I was in the driveway of a house. My gut was telling me that Thomas was in trouble and I needed to go into the house so without further ado, I made my way in. What greeted me… well, I didn’t expect it.

            Thomas and Gabriel were going at it. Thomas was in his wolf form that looked so… beautiful. Magical even… His fur was the same blonde color as his hair and it looked so soft… I just wanted to run my fingers through it. He mesmerized me and he seemed to sense me as he turned, locking eyes with me. Both men stopped and turned to stare at me.

            “What the hell is going on here?” I asked, my voice cool and collected as I shifted my gaze to Gabriel then back again between the two. Silence was what greeted me and I glared at both of them. “Someone better speak up!” I ordered.

            “Tal, I only came over to set him straight about the two of you. I don’t want him anywhere near you.” Gabriel said. “Your mine and I think you need to let him know that.”

            “I’ve already told him Gabe, repeatedly. What I don’t understand though is why the hell you two were fighting.”

            “It’s because I won’t listen to him.” Thomas said, now in his human form. I kept my eyes on his face, refusing to look down seeing as he was… well naked. “You said we could be friends and if that’s all your willing to give me then I’m fine with it. I need to be in your life even if it’s just as a friend.”

            “Bullshit!” Gabe growled and I grinded my teeth together.

            “Okay look, Gabe you need to chill out. I’ve already made it clear that Thomas and I will only be friends because I love you. I know all about mates now and I know he does need to have some sort of relationship with me to keep his wolf sated. I don’t want to hurt him because even if you don’t want to hear it and I don’t want to admit it but well, there is a part of me that cares deeply for him. I can’t help it. Even though it’s only been a few days, it’s still there and strong but I do love you Gabe. I want our forever still, no matter what but I won’t let Thomas just wither away and lose his wolf. All I can offer him is friendship and I’m willing to give it to him.”

            “But he’ll try to take you from me!” Gabe snapped, his eyes going black.

            “But he won’t succeed.” I murmured before locking eyes with Thomas. “I want us to be friends, I do but you also need to know that you need to find someone else. I read about werewolves and their mates. I’m rejecting you, I have someone and I know if you mate with someone else than you’ll be fine. Even if the girls not your true mate, it will sate your wolf enough to keep going on with me as a friend in your life or out of your life by then, whichever you choose.”

            “Someone else…? You want me to mate with someone else?” Thomas said, looking stricken. I wanted to cry as I looked at Thomas. I hated hurting him so badly but I had to. I wouldn’t give up Gabe, soul mate or not.

            “I’m sorry but yes.” I said, forcing those words to come out of my mouth even though I had a surge of jealousy and anger battling within me at that.

Thomas

            She wanted me to find someone else. She wanted me to find another woman to love. She wanted me to move on. She wanted me to take someone else as my mate. She rejected me. She didn’t want me.

            Those thoughts kept repeating over and over in my head and it crushed me. Even after Gabriel and her left, they replayed in my head, breaking my heart over and over again. My wolf was howling at the loss, at the complete rejection of his mate.

            What did I do to deserve this? Why wasn’t I good enough for her? Why couldn’t I have found her first? Question after question kept popping into my head.

            What did I do for the goddess to curse me as such?

            Sleep was far out of reach now. Not even running in my wolf form could help me out now. All I could do was lay down, starring at my ceiling while thoughts of Natalie filled my mind. She was too good for Gabriel. Hell, she was too good for me. Neither of us deserved her and yet she was his girlfriend and my mate. She chose him and rejected me… Fate was truly cruel.

            I didn’t know what to do with myself. Should I move on? No the real question was, could I move on? Was Sarah right? Could our friendship blossom into something more? Or was she wrong and would Natalie keep choosing Gabriel over and over again? She loved him and she didn’t deny it. I could see it in her eyes, she was completely in love with Gabriel but she cared deeply for me, she even said so and I could see that in her eyes as well. Could I just stay her friend now? After being rejected and told to move on by her? I would just hurt myself if I stayed in her life and watched as her and Gabriel’s relationship only grew more. I was only hurting myself in the end but I knew I’d only hurt myself more if I stayed away… I was a glutton for punishment.

Gabriel

            The car ride was silent. I never felt such… anger towards Natalie, my Tal. I never imagined I’d feel so angry with her but I did. My hands were tightening on the wheel and I had to restrain myself to make sure I didn’t break it.

            She cared for that mutt. She cared deeply for that mutt and to make matters worse, she never told me about how she’s been running into him! She kept it a secret from me when all I’ve ever been is completely honest with her! She told him they could be friends and I know the whole while their friendships building that he will try to win her over. It’s in a wolf’s nature after all she is his mate. His goddamn mate!

            I knew it wasn’t Tal’s fault that she was his mate. It’s nit like she could help it. I was glad that she kept telling him how much she loved me and how we were forever, that she wouldn’t be swayed by him but the whole situation still pissed me off!

            Once we were back at my place, I stormed inside. I heard Tal sigh in exasperation before following. “I’m not going to argue with you. I’m tired and I’m going to bed.” She said before I could say anything. I glared at her and she rolled her eyes.

            “How could you not fucking tell me?” I growled but she ignored me and headed up to my room. “Answer me Natalie!”

            “I’m going to bed!” She snapped.

            “No you’re gonna answer me! I wouldn’t have kept something like that from you! How could you go behind my back like that? How could you do that to me? How could you tell him right in front of me that you actually care for that mutt?”

            “I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you when I saw you because I just saw Thomas tonight. I only didn’t tell you I ran into him before because I knew it would upset you but nothing happened. I only told him to leave me alone and that I was happy with you. And I’m not going to lie to you or to Thomas, Gabe because I do care about him. I can’t help it and now you’re yelling at me about keeping something from you yet then you yell at me for telling the truth… I just can’t win with you…” She shook her head and sighed. “I’m not going to argue and you’re in the mood to have a screaming match that I’m really not up to so I’m going to go home. Have a good night by yourself.” She said before snatching her keys from my hand and leaving.

            A growl tore free from me and I punched the wall before heading into the kitchen to get a drink, it was badly needed after this night.