Dear Malia

42 - there's a first for everything

dear malia,

when i got to the party, i had no idea what to do. i've never been to a party and i didn't know anyone here.
after looking around for awhile i found you and you were dancing on a table, a beer bottle in your hand. when you saw me, you grinned so wide, it made my heart warm. you hopped off the table and hugged me.
i didn't know what to do, so i awkwardly hugged you back. you smelled like vanilla and cheap beer, but i didn't mind.
"i'm so glad you came!" you said to me when you pulled away. i wish you hadn't, i loved hugging you.
i smiled shyly and you giggled.
"do you want something to drink?"
i shrugged and you ran off to get me a beverage.
i sat down on a couch and some guy sat next to me and started chatting me up, sliding his hand up and down my thigh. "let's go somewhere private," he said. i told him to stop but he wouldn't listen.
"leave her alone, levi," you said, appearing in front of us, two drinks in her hand. one for me and one for herself.
he rolled eyes. "i was just playing with her," he said, standing up. "she liked it."
"as if," you scoffed. "why don't you go fuck yourself, levi, it's the most action you'll ever get, anyway."
i stifled a laugh. that was funny.
"fuck you, malia." he stormed off and malia laughed before sitting down next to me and handing me the drink.
i opened it and took a sip. ew, what is this? i made a face, and i guess you noticed cause you giggled a little.
"it's beer, hannah, haven't you ever had some?"
i stuck my tongue out and shook my head.
"i can get you something else, just wait here, okay?"
you walked off again, and i smiled because you were being so kind to me. you could've been talking to your other friends, who kept giving me weird looks (i'm gay, whoa! how interesting!). i guess they thought that it was weird, that i was weird.
when you came back, you had lemonade in a glass. "here you go."

"thank you," i said. taking a sip of the lemonade. i sighed at the wonderful taste as it washed the yucky beer in my mouth away.

"so," malia said, "do you want to dance?"

"w-what? with you?" i nearly choked on lemonade. just the thought of dancing with you. . . it made my heart skip a beat.

"yes, with me, silly!"

how are you so confident and care free, i wondered to myself. i wish i was more like you. 

you took my hand in yours and gave me a small smile, leading me to the dance floor, which was really just a crowd of people dancing in one area.

you began to dance and i just stood there, watching you. "malia, i don't know how to dance."

"who cares if you don't?" you yelled over the music. "just let the music move you. most of the people in here are too drunk to notice your lack of skills, anyway."

your words ran through my head over and over. let the music move you. i listened to each beat and suddenly my body began to move with it, i could feel the music.

you grinned at me and my heart fluttered. "that's it!" you chuckled a little. "yeah! look at you go!" before i could process what was happening you pulled my hips closer to you. my hips were touching your hips.

your body moved against mine in a gentle but needy way. i didn't know what to do. "c'mon," you said, "dance with me. feel the music."

i began swaying my hips as you did the same.
you looked so happy. you looked so beautiful. your eyes were closed, you were enjoying yourself so much, it was the most beautiful sight.
i didn't even realize i had stopped dancing until you pulled away from me. "you okay?"
i nodded. "i'm okay," i told you. "do you mind if we stop? i want to sit down."
you nodded and led me over to the couch we were previously sitting at.
people gathered around, taking a seat beside me and on the floor.
you whispered to me that they were probably starting a game of spin the bottle. you asked me if i wanted to stay and play. not knowing much on what the game actually was, i agreed.
the bottle spun around, came to a stop, and pointed to a girl beside me. another spin. the game continued, a few ooh's and laughs erupted when it landed on some people. what was the point, i wondered, of spinning a bottle and kissing everyone? was this what people did for fun?
i didn't even notice you had moved to sit beside someone else until i finally took my eyes off this one pair literally sucking each other's faces off. you gave me a wave from across the circle.
"hey, you! i dunno if you saw but the bottle landed on you!" it took me a second to realize that this blonde haired boy was talking to me.
i nodded at him, acknowledging him. i was afraid now. who would it land on? would i like it? i probably wouldn't. oh no, i've only kissed one other person and i'm not sure if it can even be defined as a kiss.
i hoped it would land on you. out of all the drunk people in this circle, you're the one i want to kiss the most. at the same time, i hoped it wouldn't land on you, i'd be so nervous.
too busy with my thoughts, I didn't realize they had spun the bottle again. the same guy who pointed out that the bottle had landed on me said, "ooh, malia!"
oh no, part of me said, while the other part was saying, this is a dream come true.
"i'm not kissing a girl," you said, and suddenly my heart started to hurt.
"aw, c'mon," the guy said, "there's a first for everything."
you rolled eyes and made your way over to me. as you leaned in, i closed my eyes, wanting to savour every minute.

truly,
hannah