Chapter 2
Cheryl’s POV
We order our drinks and are handed our dinner menus. I open mine and am happy it’s big enough to hide my face from Kimberley’s piercing eyes. As clever as I thought I was by not giving her a chance to sit next to me, as stupid as I now feel as I realise she’ll be watching me all night.
I can’t do it anymore. Lie to her I mean. I know she’s waiting for me to talk to her and tell her what’s going on, but I just haven’t had the time to organise my thoughts. We keep getting into fights over meaningless things, all because we’re avoiding the real fight. About why I’m not communicating with her.
The girls are chatting away, they haven’t seemed to notice the awkwardness between Kimberley and I. They were the first people we told about our relationship and they’ve never made a problem of it. I think they always knew… somewhere… in the back of their minds.
I’m forced to lower my menu when I hear my name. It’s about the tour. I instantly light up and start telling them all about it.
Dinner is served and we continue the conversation.
“What about the after-parties? Were they any good?!” Count on Sarah to ask that question.
“Yeah… I mean… well… they were fun… nothing like partying with you guys though of course!” It’s an honest answer, although I feel like I’m lying by not telling the whole story. I look around the group smiling, stopping when I meet Kimberley’s gaze.
Nicola turns sideways to face Kimberley and excitedly asks her:
“Did you go to the one in London??”
I hold my breath, waiting for Kimberley’s answer. She looks at me before looking at Nicola and answers.
“Nah… you know me… never liked the showbiz scene”. She smiles awkwardly and I wonder if her eyes were already moist before we got here. Why did I only just see that? How much more could I suck at this girlfriend thing?!
“Yeah but Cheryl just admitted we’re more fun to party with” Nicola winks and continues “you could have just gone to be there for – ” I open my mouth to interrupt but am stopped when I hear Kimberley’s voice.
“Ohhh no… that wine is making me need the loo like crazy! I’ll be right back guys”. I stare in surprise. I was about to cut Nicola off so Kimberley wouldn’t have to lie to our friends about my behaviour, but I realise Kimberley’s done it for me. My eyes follow her as she walks to the toilet and I make a rash decision.
I excuse myself from the table and follow her to the toilets. As I’m walking away I can hear my friends giggling and I realise what kind of jokes they’ll be making, but I don’t care. I need to fix this with Kimberley.
I open the door and hear a toilet flush, so I place my back against the wall and wait for her.
She comes out, sees me, and walks to the sink. I can see that her eyes are a bit bloodshot but she manages to keep her emotions in check. She sighs deeply and turns to face me. Her eyes are not gentle and soft like they usually are when she looks at me, which scares me a little, but I decide to take the first step.
“I need to explain…” I start.
“Explain what?” For a second I actually believe she’s clueless until she continues. “Explain why you don’t wait for me when you get out of your car, why you don’t sit next to me, why you don’t want me at your parties or why you no longer talk to me about anything important? Or wait… did you want to explain what happened at those after-parties that you can’t seem to share with your friends?”
I’m stunned. I sometimes forget how well she knows me and can see right through me when I talk. I hesitate… what the hell am I supposed to do now? I can’t tell her about that night.
London, May 5th.
I’m enjoying myself at my first after-party of the Black Eyed Peas tour. Finally! I’ve been so damn stressed with everything that I haven’t been able to enjoy myself at all yet. My mum’s long gone to bed and I’ve been pouring myself drinks since I don’t know what time. Will sits down next to me and asks me if I don’t mind meeting his friend ‘Jack’. As I turn around I see his friend… and wow! I find myself blushing at the sight of him. He looks at me shyly and stretches out his hand. We shake hands and I feel an instant connection.
It feels like hours later when we look up from our conversation and Will’s telling us to stop being boring and come dance. The alcohol’s really hit my head as we start dancing and I find myself shuffling closer to Jack, only to feel his hands on my hips. We continue dancing sensually and when I look up, I see the desire in his eyes. We’re pushed by some other dancers and he quickly turns me around so I don’t get hit. I now find myself in-between him and some kind of stage, with his hands just above my head holding onto the railing. He smiles sweetly and starts to lean in.
My hands wander up his body to his neck, softly stroking his face. His face is unshaved, only by a day or so, but I feel stubble. Suddenly, thoughts start racing through my head. Haven’t felt stubble in quite some time… how long have I not kissed somebody then… I must’ve kissed somebody recently…
KIMBERLEY!
As if she’s actually standing there in the room with us, I jump to the side and feel my face blush insanely. How could I have forgotten about her?! Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. I almost cheated. I did cheat. I forgot about my girlfriend and almost kissed a guy. That’s just as bad a betrayal.
“What happened Cheryl?” I’m brought back to the present with a crash. Kimberley’s eyes are still piercing mine but I’m sure she noticed their absence, even if it was only a few seconds.
