Heaven

Person after person in the line in front of me plead their case in tears before being sent below.

It was true. It was all true. I'd eaten pork. I'd gotten tattoos. And I knew I'd done worse than the occasional Hawaiian pizza. I had gotten behind the wheel after a night out and woke up to the news that someone in a wheel chair and it wasn't me.

From then on life's background tune was pain. I reformed my ways, but I hated myself until the end of my days. In the early days I would pray to God the He would just switch our places, but to no avail.

As I got closer and closer I started nashing my teeth. Rumors swirled that a couple well dressed people making it through. It made no sense though. Weren't the rich supposed to have a hard time entering heaven?

Before I knew it I was at the gates. There wasn't St. Peter there was just God. Behind him I could see through the gates, I saw Phillip my defense attorney from the drunk driving case. God began reading the charges, somehow only taking a minute or two despite listing the entirety of the laws that I'd broken, but it gave me time to formulate an idea.

HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

"Guilty with an explanation," I stuttered unsure of what else one could plead.

PROCEED

"Yes I am guilty of those transgressions but I promised grace. The text is unclear and contradictory at times, but I draw your attention to Matthew 10:42."

God's eyes brightened, I could tell I was on the right track.

"I was told that if I gave even a cup of cold water to someone in need I would not lose my reward. Since that is the most specific clause relating to entrance into heaven despite heinous sins, I argue that I be granted mercy and entrance into Heaven"

HEAVEN IS YOURS

Grace! It was mine! But before walking through the gates I had one more thing to ask:

"This is a perfect court with a perfect judge and which is more perfect, a justice system with, or without retrials? A bit like arguing whether You could make a rock heavy enough You couldn't lift. But I argue that a retrial would at worst be a waste of time, and given the stakes involved I ask to represent each and every person currently in or on their way to Hell for their immediate retrial."

Now I'm known as: Frank, Best lawyer ever. Savoir of Heaven.