Mr. Reaper

3.) Fetish For Nicknames

After fiddling with a self-checkout register for a frustrating fifteen minutes, I was able to purchase my items and exit the building in one piece.

The journey back to my apartment was traffic-free, and I was thankful for that; However, I had a bit of a malfunction while making the trek back up the stairs due to my having to carry the grocery bags. Pfft, oh yeah, being an adult sure is fun.

After struggling to open my door, thanks to the bags in my hands, I was met with the ginger curls that belong to none other than Katherine Deeley. A cheesy smile rested upon her face. "Have you mastered the art of breaking and entering? Because I'm wondering how the hell you got into my house." I eyed my doorknob, searching for any signs of forced entry. Mimi poked her head into the room. Oh, well I wouldn't have guessed the two of them would be in the same place. Ha. They should just marry eachother. "Oh, do you remember that wild Halloween party when Katherine got hammered and walked to your apartment? You told her about the key under the mat and voilà! Instant access to your house!" She grinned. "Ah yes, the one night that I'm able to get a good night's sleep and suddenly I had to babysit a staggering, slurring Kathy, I recall the occasion quite well." I sighed in false content.

"I have an idea, let's not resurrect the unflattering memories of that night and proceed with our sleepover, shall we?" Katherine pleaded. She was most likely not wanting to relive the experience of hooking up with Munchkin Mike, the shortest kid in our senior class who had dandruff and really bad breath. A chill ran up my spine.

"Hold on a second," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "What's this 'big news' you told me about, Mimi?" I interrogated. "Well,...here's the thing..I, um...I'm engaged." She stated, the answer sounding more like a question.

For a second, I was in a daze and, despite still being able to process the enthusiastic shrieks coming from the bouncy redhead that was Katherine, my vision went a little blurry.

"..Mimi, this..'girl's night' wouldn't happen to be your impromptu bachelorette party, would it?" I questioned with closed eyes, gritting my teeth. "Ding-ding-ding, you guessed it!" She worriedly grinned, her miniature frame shrinking back even more. Wheeling around on the balls of my feet, I threw my door open, stomping across the hallway to room three-eleven.

I planted my feet to the ground, consistently banging my fist against the door. Hearing laughter slowly approach, I continued to knock impatiently.

In the midst of my ultimate frustration, I had failed to realize that I was still carrying my store bought items. I did realize, however, that I forgot his Corona. That damned Corona, I should sue the company.

The door had been opened, but not by the person I was looking for. A tall, very tall, slender man with bronze colored hair and green eyes smiled at me, not interpreting that the heat radiating off of my body meant, in fact, that I was not in the mood to smile.

Raising his eyebrows, he proceeded to mock my sallow skin by saying, "Hey Jason you didn't tell us that there was going to be a stripper role playing a vampire. Kinky, Jay, real kinky."

Suddenly, my target exposed himself, appearing from behind Mr. Skyscraper. "You!" I pointed at Jason, narrowing my eyes. "Was this a set-up? Intentionally leaving out the fact that my best friend is engaged to your best friend? If there are hidden cameras here and this is a joke so help me god, I'm on a rampage and I won't hesitate to break something!" I was livid.

The room fell under complete silence, that is until the man that resembled a giraffe spoke up. "Well, the vampire has fangs. Even sexier." He chuckled at his own joke, one of my biggest pet peeves.

"Oh, I wouldn't laugh too loud Mr. Beanstalk. Tell your friend Jack," I motioned towards Jason, "that this vamp doesn't appreciate the stunt he just pulled. See you at the wedding, Mr. Reaper. Oh, and by the way, I didn't get your beer. Doesn't feel good to be left out, does it?" I childishly pointed a finger (I'll let you guess which one) at Jason before stomping out of his apartment, slamming his front door shut behind me.

Eavesdropping being one of my favorite hobbies, I lingered for a second, hearing the words "Mr. Beanstalk?" From who I presumed was Dr. Long John himself, followed by a beautiful giggle from Jason. "Don't ask me, man, I guess she just has a fetish for nicknames." Jason pondered playfully, and despite my immature, raging frustration towards him, I smiled crookedly to myself.