Something Tangible

Arrangements vs. Relationships

His arm casually resting behind her, Steven felt Katarina begin to loosen up after a few drinks - and decided to take advantage of it.

"So how long where you married for?" he asked out of the blue.

"Over 10 years but we were together for 16. We got together fairly young," she replied, evasive as ever on the topic. "What about you? What's the longest relationship you've ever been in?" she countered.

"A few months. I don't know, maybe three or four. I can't remember exactly."

"Really?" she blinked in disbelief. "How old are you?"

"37, why?

"That just seems like an awfully long time to go without having any long-term relationships."

Steven smiled to himself. No filter.

"As I said, I'm not really interested in serious commitments. I have neither the time nor the patience for them."

"The patience part I can believe," she smirked.

"Yes mine does tend to wear thin quite easily, as I'm sure you've noticed. Honestly, I'm not interested in that sort of thing. I date women. I play the part of the dutiful boyfriend with deep pockets. I shower them with prestige and presents, treat them well and in return, I get the no-strings attachments I'm seeking. I don't mean that to sound cold, but you asked."

"Umm, no, it's not cold. Well, yeah, actually it is pretty frigid," Katarina said, appalled by his cavalier attitude.

Who the fuck is she to judge me? He'd never had to justify his past to anyone before. But the truth was, Steven did care about her good opinion.

"Look, I'm not explaining this very well. I'm upfront about what I want, as are they. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement." He was going to need a larger shovel for the hole he was digging.

"Arrangement? That sounds more like a business merger than a relationship," Katarina blurted out. "Sorry, sorry. I suppose if everyone knows what they're getting into, it's alright. But in all those years you've never once had a girl who wanted to take things further with you?" she asked incredulously, the nosy reporter in her making an appearance.

"Of course I have. I just never wanted to take the next step and that was usually the end of the discussion. I like my world ordered a certain way, and that leaves little room for other people," he shrugged.

She just stared at him, unsure of what to say to Mr. Red Roses Romantic.

Steven didn't feel the need to rationalize his life, but he didn't want her to think ill of him either.

"I wouldn't say I never grew close with anyone before. I enjoyed their company. It was pleasant enough. And no it wasn't just about physical enjoyment if that's what you're assuming," he said, quirking his brow at her. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. Damn, caught red-handed with my mind in the gutter.

"We conversed, went out, etc. My past girlfriends were all intelligent, successful women who could hold their own. It's just that I never felt the need to get too personal with them. I'm a private individual I suppose, but that is how I'm built and I make no bones about it. That level of emotional intimacy always felt false or forced to me, so yes I would end things once I sensed certain lines were being crossed."

"I see. I suppose I understand," Katarina trailed off, again stumped for words. She just couldn't relate to his choices. How do you build a moat around your life and keep people out for so long?