'Chapter 1: How can you tell the gender of a fish?'
I rubbed my eyes tiredly as I walked into the living room. It's only been half a day and one long night but I'm already done with Mitch's shit.
I growled looking down at a passed out Mitch sprawled out across the couch.
I barely got any sleep, because this fucker right here played his emo shit all night as he goofed around not phased by the fact that I sleep two rooms over and that I stay in a place with awfully insulated walls.
I gritted my teeth walking over to the radio and quickly flicked it off. The music was still playing, barely audible, but still playing.
I walked back to my position staring at Mitch.
Now what was I to do with him?
"Fucking emo...", I sighed and raised a pillow over my head and brought it down on Mitch's face. Mitch instantly jolted awake and then rolled his eyes sleepily at me. "Fuck you, I'm tired", Mitch mumbled sounding barely awake. Mitch's face dropped back down onto his arms as he fell asleep again.
I whacked the pillow down on his face again. "Wake up you lazy fuck", I rolled my eyes. "We need to talk about something"
Mitch groaned and shuffled onto his back squinting up at me. "What?"
"We need some rules around here"
Mitch yawned. "sounds boring"
"Well I'm sorry that we can't dance around like best friends. It's not exactly easy as that."
Mitch leaned back getting comfortable. He tilted his head in a joking matter and shrugged. "True"
"Okay so. First rule.", I sighed and sat down on the couch away from Mitch. "You need to buy the fish food"
"What? No. That's not fa-"
I put a finger over my lips and shushed Mitch. "Yeah well who has to accommodate you"
"You.", Mitch groaned.
"Exactly.", I smirked. "Now second rule, No bringing girls here"
Mitch threw his head back and laughed. "Sure."
I sighed. I don't think Mitch was exactly taking these rules very seriously. Whatever.
"And finally. The third and most important rule. No going into the attic."
"Why not?", Mitch paused. "Is it like haunted? Oh my god that'd be so cool!"
"No it's not haunted.", I sighed. "It's just that the floor up there isn't that stable and honestly I don't want you falling through the roof."
"Aw.", Mitch smirked standing up from the couch. "You care about me"
"No, but I do care about my roof."
"Whatever.", Mitch laughed and went over to his bag and shuffled around pulling things out. "Aha"
Mitch pulled out a cylinder of fish food and walked over to the side table were we kept the fish bowl which obviously held the fish.
Mitch kneeled down so he was face to face with the fish. He opened the fish food and raised it above the bowl before tipping some inside the bowl.
"We should name it", Mitch said looking back at me.
"No, you'll get attached to it"
"Well, I mean, I officially named you a fuck boy and I'm not attached to you...", Mitch smirked and shrugged jokingly.
I sighed rolling my eyes as Mitch giggled evilly. "Fine then. Go ahead. But nothing stupid."
"Well then.", Mitch sat down and leaned back on his hands. "Firstly we need to know what gender this thing is."
"Didn't it say something about that on the tank?"
"Yeah...", Mitch started. "But I forgot what it said."
"Well aren't you a fish expert? How does one tell the difference of gender in fish?"
"Don't ask me...", Mitch shrugged. "I'm not that smart."
"Nice one.", I laughed. "So we're basically left with a genderless fish."
"Exactly.", Mitch confirmed.
I groaned standing up. "Let's just name it."
Mitch nodded. "I think I agree with you on that. I don't want to spend all my Saturday morning tying to check the gender of a fish."
I nodded silently agreeing.
Mitch squinted his eyes in thought. "Poppy.", Mitch exclaimed smiling. "Cause they has poppy out eyes."
"Um I have two things to say about that.", I started. "One, no. And two, very scientific.", I sighed sarcastically.
"Aw. Why not, Poppy's a great name"
"I would kill my parents if they called me Poppy."
"I would too honestly, but it works for this fish."
I opened my mouth to say something smart but at this point, I couldn't be asked. "Whatever, fine, it's name will be Poppy"
Mitch laughed. "Coolio. Anyway now I'm going to go ignore you for the rest of the day. Bye!"
And so, we named the fish Poppy. Because of it's poppy out eyes.
...very scientific.
[A/N] 'Your relationship with Mitch has gone up by five (5/100)'
^ I kind of wanted to add that as a joke just cause I though it'd be funny. Idk. I'm bored.
Welp sorry bout the wait. But don't expect a chapter to be published any time this week. I suck, I Know.
Welp bye. *waves awkwardly*
