[Closed] Welcome to Reality

TASK SEVEN: Oakley Awl

The hovercrafts, at first, made me feel like I'd won.

I knew it wasn't true - there'd been no cannons since the Second Bloodbath, although there were three then. Four of us were left.

That still didn't explain the hovercrafts, four of them scattered around the slate-grey sky. One was headed straight towards me, and I panicked at first - the Gamemakers had another cruel trick in for us. Then they landed, and I realized that while it was from the Gamemakers, it was no trick.

"Oakie!" Rowan yelled, heading straight towards me. The seven-year-old was already four-six, but his hug was like a butterfly's. I tried not to crush him with mine, but it was hard with all the excitement running through my body.

Axel was quieter, as an eleven-year-old, he was far less active than his peers. Still, he was strong already, and he gave me a huge smile when he reached me.

Of course, none could compare to Mother's. She was crying, the tears streaking her dark skin, and she held onto Papa with a death grip. Papa seemed fine with it, and he gave me a proud smile.

"You've come so far, my son." His voice was soft, but it still brought through all the emotion I needed to hear.

"Thank you. But how did you-?"

"The Capitol cut the family interviews this year, but the people got mad. They wanted to see. . . emotion, I suppose. So they sent us in. I think it's working." My mother let out a smile through her tears of joy.

"Emotion?" I didn't quite understand - that wasn't usually our job. The people at home supplied the emotion, and we supplied the entertainment.

"Yes. Oakley, they only said we have two hours. Tell us, please. What's it like?"

"Horrible," I murmured. I hadn't thought about it until now, but the arena was horrible, full of tricky mutts and manipulative Gamemakers and dead eyes. "Did you see the- the Feast?"

Axel nodded. "You did what you had to do, Oakie. It wasn't your fault." He gave me a small, sad smile - these Games must have been hardest on him.

"You were so cool when you fought those wolves!" Rowan burst out, charging at me again and clambering onto my lap. "When you were all teamworky and you had your axes and they were like 'Arrgrah!' but you were all 'No! Hugh!' and you got 'em all dead-"

"Yeah?" I couldn't help but let out a grin. "It was scary though, Row. I thought I could trust Kalesy, but then when she and her friends attacked, I thought I might die. The Careers saved me. They really brought us all together."

Father smiled and ran a hand over Row's head. "And the holograph. . . We didn't see any of that, Oakley. They didn't show us yours. Was Rollo-?"

"He was scary, too. Strong, and he wasn't afraid to kill. I guess he just wanted to win, like the rest of us. He was killed at the Feast, wasn't he?"

Mother nodded. "You did well there, too. All grown up."

"Not quite." I gave her a small smile over Rowan's head. "I was still terrified, then. When that boy died, and the girl was in so much pain. . . I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to kill anyone!"

"We know, Oakley."

"I know. I just- I don't- I didn't want this to happen," I finished, my head in my hands. "I didn't want to be reaped. I didn't want to make it this far, because that means that I can just remember everything that's happened, and you can too. I was meant to die in the Bloodbath, where I couldn't hurt anyone, but now I have the blood of four people on my hands!"

Someone rubbed my back gently, and I let out a sigh. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow up at you. I never would have before the. . ."

"Before the arena. We know. We've been glued to the television ever since." My father offered me a melancholy smile. "It's not your fault, Oakley."

"But it is! I could have just stayed in my store, and kept in the building-"

"The mall," Axel told me. "All the stores? It's a mall. They're from when Panem used to be rich. And the theater where you saw the others? That was from then too. The Capitol still has them both. But they're so. . ."
"Strange?" I supplied tiredly. "Everything about this place is strange."

"Oakie?" Rowan was looking up at me, the innocence in his eyes refreshing and familiar. "Where's the bed store where you slept?"

"I'll show you. You wanna see?"

"Yeah!" Rowan slipped his hand into mine. "I want to be just like you when I grow up, Oakie."

A lump grew in my throat. "How about you be just like Rowan, Row? I might not be the best role model."

"What's a role model?"

"Someone you look up to, who you copy, who you learn from, who you admire." I smiled at him, but my heart was aching. He shouldn't want to be like me. I'm a murderer.

"I want to be strong like you, Oakie."

"You can be strong like me and not be me. Here."

Rowan let out a shriek of joy as we approached the store and broke off from me, sprinting into the store and looking around wildly for my bed those nights spent here. Once he found it, he insisted that we go out the back entrance, and find the theater, and the fountain. Soon, I was leading them on a tour through the tall skyscrapers of the city.

"Put your hand in the water, here, Row," I directed, holding him over the reflecting pool. He did, and let out a screech when the orange-and-white fish bumped his hand gently.

"What is it?" Axel leaned over and swished his fingers through the water, giggling when the fish hit him. "Oh!"

"Oakley," my mother said gently. "It's getting late."

"What?" I glanced back at her, then at the clock, which was inching closer to the hour mark. They had to go soon, by the Gamemaker's command.

"Do you have to go?" My voice was almost too soft to be heard.

My father touched my arm gently. "We'll be with you in your hearts, Oakley."

"Thank you."

"Just remember - you are not who the arena makes you." My mother smiled. "You are who you know you are. In your heart."

I let a smile escape and lifted Rowan off the side of the pool, then gave him a hug. "Be good to Mama, all right, Row?"

"OK, Oakie."

"And Axel, you too. I missed you guys."

"We missed you too, Oakley." Axel joined Rowan in my arms, then Mother and Papa did as well. I let out a deep, shaky breath, and murmured, "I love you."

"We love you too."

And then, the hovercrafts appeared again, but this time, I knew I hadn't won. In fact, I was losing so much more.

The Capitol wanted emotion, and they got it, from me leaning against the fountain crying, from me barely able to stand on shaking legs as I walked back to the store, from me missing them so much more now that they'd gone.

"I love you," I murmured to the sky, hoping that they'd reply again.