Do Mind Maps Ever End?

Chapter 5

"Elle, Richards home."

Officer Taylor. 

The name meade me feel physically sick as flashbacks entered my mind. This man ruined my life and then took me home to HIS house to practically just mock me in my face. 

I hated him. I hated this man. Hate had become a part of me now. It haunted my every turn. Not that I noticed.

I stared at him through the banister of the stair case. A pang of hatred filled me. He looked nervous as Joanna whipered something in his ear and he glanced my way.

"Hey Elle."

I said nothing. I stood up and descended the staircase. Officer Taylor pulled on his sleeves and shifted from foot to foot. 

"Its nice to finally see the ghostly house guest! How is everything?" he asked. I glared unamused at him as he chuckled nervously at his own joke.

"As in...?" I threw back. Joanna winced.

"As in how are you?"

"Considering how my whole family are either dead or half way across the world...IN JAIL, well then im just fine." I smiled sarcastically and Officer Taylor continued pulling at his sleeves.

"Its ok youve got us." He smiled.

I bubbled up with anger.

"YOU? ha you could never replace my family ya hear? EVER! Just stay out of my life ok? And I'll gladly stay out of yours. I hate you." I stared right into his face and meaning every word I said I repeated slowly. 

"I HATE YOU," looking at Joanna as well for effect. She stared down at her feet and Officer Taylor redened. 

I felt chuffed and tore up the stairs and slammed the door shut.

I sat in my room, I mean THE room and laughed to myself. I didnt even shed a tear, didnt feel a thing. Back before everything, this kind of thing would have sent me into floods of tears but that was the old me. That girl was gone, she left the second that car drove off that bridge. I hurt so other people should have to feel my hurt as well. I didnt care. I didnt care about anything anymore. This was me. So deal with it.

School. 

I woke up and threw on my ugly Yellowpole uniform. I stared myself down in the full length mirror. I then hitched up my skirt and cut holes in my tights with a pair of scissors. Hmm.. more me. Back combing my hair, I thought about Addie and Vicky and what they would think of my transformation. I shook myself and told myself that I didnt care. 

I raced down the stairs, grabbed a piece of toast, without even looking at Joanna and hopped into the passenger seat of the little Renault Clio. I had swore to myself that I would never drive in a car again but that was the scared of life me. That was the past. 

"Like what youve done with your make up." Joanna broke the silence.

I looked at myself in the wing mirror. The shadows surrounding my eyes really brought out my piercing blue eyes. 

Addie and Vicky were waiting. I focused on the school ahead of me and walked straight past them not even giving them a glance.

"Elle."

"WHAT?" I said rudely. 

"Weve been waiting here every day." Addie almost whispered.

"Why?"

"What happened you?" she whispered again.

"Do you really want to know what happened? Reality happened ok?" with that I walked on, ignoring the whispering behind me. 

Vicky didnt even try. But why should she? They werent the type of friends I needed. I didnt need friends, they would only let me down. 

All day I received piercing stares and back stabbing. Guys seemed to take notice of me, not that I took any notice of them. I always kept my stare straight in front of me.

"Whats up with the new look?" 

Terry. I had sat beside him in Chemistry all year. Everytime he talked to me, even looked at me, my heart almost dropped out of my mouth. 

His chocolate brown eyes looked concerened.

"Why do you have a problem?" I asked cooly.

His eyes fell down to the desk, awkwardly and he flicked his hair as he always did when he got nervous. 

"No...sorry its just different. I eh..liked you the way you looked before thats all." 

HE LIKED THE WAY I LOOKED BEFORE. I shook myself again.

"Well deal with it." 

The face on Terry right then stayed on my mind the rest of the day. I sat on my own at lunch. People stared but nobody came near me. No one so much as gave me a smile. Not that I cared. This is who I was now and I loved it. What I didnt know was my heart was getting harder and harder. 

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