A Different Path [UNFINISHED]

Seeds of Darkness

Thoughts plagued Ezra's young mind as he sat with a blank expression in the kitchen at dinner while everyone was discussing a new battle plan. His own conscience was driving him into insanity. He couldn't stop the constantly increasing flow of questions, "what if" situations, and "worst possible" circumstances. Separation was his worst fear and he could no longer conceal it.

"Ezra, what do you think?" Kanan asked.

Ezra looked up with a perplexed face with everyone staring back at him. A range of expressions was glaring at him. Some concerned, others annoyed, and the rest judgemental.

"What?" he blankly asked.
"What do you think about Sabine's plan?" Kanan repeated with a bold suspicious feeling.
"Oh. It's...great!" Ezra stuttered.
"You have no idea what we're talking about, right?" Sabine sighed.
"Sorry..."
"Listen," Hera started, "we're going to have to go back to Lothal again to try to get those plans Minister Tua supposedly left for us. You and Kanan are going underground while Zeb and Sabine enter from above. Chopper will be waiting for all of you guys at this underground entrance on the outskirts of Capital City. I'll be on the outside of the city in this small rebel ship that Ahsoka is letting us borrow. Got it?"
"Got it."

Sabine continued to describe back-up plans as Hera and Kanan exchanged worrisome looks. Kanan sat back in his seat and crossed his arms as he examined his padawan. There's something wrong..., he thought to himself, There's definitely something wrong...

****

Everyone dispersed from the meeting except for Hera and Kanan.

"What's on your mind?" Hera asked.
"Ezra," Kanan answered. "There's something wrong with him. There's something bothering him. He didn't tell me everything."
"Do you think it's more than just being abandoned?"
"It could be."
"Maybe he's not feeling well."
"Well of course not! He's still recuperating from his contact with the dark side!"

Hera was put to silence. She watched Kanan search his thoughts for what could be plaguing his padawan.

"How long was he in contact with the dark side?" Hera inquired.
"I don't know," Kanan sighed in disappointment. "But it was longer than at Fort Anaxes..."
"I'll keep a close eye on him."
"After a couple of days, I'll try and talk to him."
"Okay."

After their brief conversation, Hera left the kitchen as Kanan continued to search his mind.

****

Days passed and Ezra was still constantly fearful of losing his friends. Everyone noticed significant changes in him. He was always creating excuses for them to postpone their mission as well as being extremely polite to the crew members. His politeness made his crew members feel both concerned and uncomfortable. Ezra was always jaunty and lively around his crew members, always trying to get the most out of each conversation and interaction with his friends. But when he was alone, he was hollow on the inside, always cold, and flooded with horrible situations. He always concealed his agonies, but acted happy. Never was he truly happy. And that's what pained Kanan the most.

After three days of postponing the mission, Hera explained to Kanan her concern for him. Throughout the three days, he and the others have tried everything to make Ezra feel like he won't lose them. Sabine even painted a mural of the whole crew together on a wall. Kanan has continuously lectured Ezra about how the crew was a family--in life or death. Hera has been emphasizing her mother-like character to show how Ezra is a true family member of the crew. Zeb and Chopper have also added to the effort by playing "games" with Ezra. However, his conscience continued to plant seeds of horror in Ezra's mind and nothing would reassure him. And those seeds continued to grow. Fast.