My senior love

Chapter 1

I took a deep breath as i moved a step forward,i noticed that Aamina had yanked her wrist from my clutch wich i totally understand since i've been releaving my nervousness by digging my pink nails on her propably now injured wrist.I'll apologize to her later when i will be done and over with this.

Here we go,i'll be done with him for good in a matter of minutes,InshaeAllah.My heart panged at the though of a Zaid-less life,but my mind was ahead of my heart and considered more worthy to be deffeated to.We dont get to keep what is not ours to be kept,no matter how attached we grew to it,What if he returned my feelings ?Isn't his previous actions a proof of his feelings?My heart tried to reason but i shat it out,if he thought of me rightly he should have done the right way,shouldn't he?shouldn't he be at our place,discussing whatever feelings he have for myself with my mother,asking her in the way for my hand for marriage?Shouldnt he counsole my father ?I doubt what he feels for me,he propably thinks i am just one of his others.

i looked up to immediatly regret my decisions.He was true to his word,standing in his tall glory in the park few mile from where i currently am.His hands digging in his jeans pockets,a black hoodie covered his soft messy brown hair i love.You dont love anything about him,Zainab,you despite him in fact,couldnt you let go of what he has done to you?What he took from you?You should stop melodraming and get over him.

My friends took the lead.Aamina brought them to make sure that Zaid stays within control and to provide me with affectionnate support.They did good,i could have never came to meet him alone.I just can't.Few steps ahead and few meters now seperates me from the reason that gave me sleepless nights,days of regret,few weeks of happiness that vanished in the snap of fingers only to be replaced by true agony,sorrow and disblief.

He looked over us,scaned throught the four of us,and his green orbs lingered a little longer over my figure.What a shame,he is checking me out in such curcumstances?truly this boy has not an ounce of respect for women.He should seriously learn to lower his gaze and keep his hands to himself.A lecture would do him good, i will make sure if we ever get on better terms wish is very unlikely,to talk some sense into him and his rebel of a mind.

My friends stopped,and Aamina pushed me close to him.This is where i go alone,i guess.A memory flashed through my mind when my mother first introduced me to kindergarten on my first day of school,how i cried when she tried to release my hold of her, i could not picture a day without her motherly figure back then,wich is understanble since i was a kid.Now,as grown as i am,i should be considered as self reliable but i still wished for my friends to share this petrifying encouter with me.How naïve and childish of me?.I can do it,right?He isn't going to bite me,but what if he tried to do what he did last time?I was lucky and maneged to bring him to reality last time,what if could no more have that power ?Maybe i am not ready to see him just yet,what to do now?Is it too late to go back where i came from ?

Soon came the answer,as Aamina winked at me and mouthed a "Good luck",wich is what she should not say,i dont believe in luck,i believe what Allah had written for us will find one way or another to happend.What will happend in the future is Allah's plan and who are we cooperate in deciding everyones fate.Including mine and Zaid's.Of course that is Aamina, you can never rely on her with making the greatest choice with words,plus i would have apprieciated if she stayed with me and now she left me on my own,what a friend she is!

I was engrossed in my thoughts,untill he made his presence known by clearing his troat.How smooth?I turned to meet his gaze,only managing to look at his chin,How well defined and what a prominent jaw he possedes?MashaeAllah,this boy has killer looks,Allah bless his genes.i looked up to be met by his beautiful green eyes,i always loved and praised my big brown glossy eyes,but i could have never wanted to have green eyes till i saw this beautiful pair,AstaghfiruAllah,Allah blessed me with my beautiful brown eyes wich anyone could kill go have,one of my cousins exact few nice words.Key word:few.My family isnt exactly fond of me,blame my poor social skills.Perks of being an only child,you get to be loved by your parents,envied by your friends and hated by your family and be judged for never sharing,who can blame me i am not used to it.I dont know if thats the case for everyone sharing my only shild statememt,well atleast it's mine.

"You are doing it again."The beautifull sound of his deep voice brought me back to real life.
"Pardon ?"In case you are wondering,my hearing ablilty is perfectly fine,but i don't seem to trust my self with him.
"Typical,you get lost in your thoughts.When i acknoledge my presence you turn deaf."He commented,amusement clear in his voice.
"And you are doing it again,mister"I mocked,highfiving my self internly since i returned his choice of words.
"Care to elighten me of what is it that i am doing again?"
I lost concentration for a fraction of a second only to gain it back with some hints of self confidence.
"You are changing the subject,i believe neither of us is here to point out the flaws in each other.We have a matter to discuss,and shut down for good." I finished hoping i didn't sutter,and shown him what power he has over just by standing meters from me.Help me Allah.
"Okay,hit me"came his answer.It is now or never Zaynab.
***************
Asslamu Alaykuum,
My name is Siham,and i am the author.Well,i guess you already know that.
Ummm,to who ever reads this,if you exist.Feel free to leave your personnal judgement,and forgive my mistakes.
Have you smiled today,then you should.
Peace.