Loved to be Used

Chapter 3 - Physically Parted

CHAPTER 3: Physically Parted

"Your coffin reached the monstrous hole. And a part of me went down into the muddy earth with you and lay down next to you and died with you."
― Rosamund Lupton , Sister

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I wake up to the sky-blue coloured walls of my room. My head is throbbing from pain and my body is aching. I notice Jake's sleeping figure on the armchair. He looks too exhausted. I look at the clock hanging directly opposite from where I am positioned on the bed. It reads 12.31 hours. I must be out for about ten hours. Mum must have panicked. I stand up slowly and with quiet steps, I exit my room.

The hallway is just a small passage leading to two sets of staircases. One of which takes us down and the other takes us to the floor above which consists of four other smaller rooms but are never used for some unknown reason. Our house is constructed on a part of land which belonged to my ancestors, a long time ago. My grandfather's brothers and my uncles sold their inheritance to outsiders. Dad was quite sentimental so he kept his share with him and constructed a modern sort of home. The hallway is pretty quiet except for the muffled voices coming from my parents' room, which is two doors towards the left from that of mine.

I quietly walk over and raise my hands to knock but I stop when I hear my name in their conversation –

"– Stefan is not keeping well. He needs a new environment. He has been affected a lot by Janette's death. I think we should move away for some time which will help him move on. This place will keep reminding him about her. If this continues, it will take a toll on his health and academics too," my mum concluded. Her tone was filled with worry.

Dad doesn't respond for some time. I can imagine his eyebrows furrowed at the center. He does that when he is either concentrating or thinking about a serious issue.

"You are right from your view, dear. I am thinking from a long term perspective. If we move away, even though it will be for some time, it will just teach him to be a coward and run away from all problems. We should in fact stay here and encourage him to carry on with his life as usual but only without Janette in it. I agree that it will take time for him to heal but trust me, it will be for his better life," answers my dad.

I feel warm in my heart for my Dad. I agree with dad. I didn't want to run away. I want to be strong like Janette wanted me to be. I will stay here and live with her memories.

"Now that I think about it, I was thinking hastily. We will stay here but we still have that problem. What was predicted by my parents and supported by yours is taking place. We will have to be very careful this time. We can't commit the same mistake again," my mum reminds my dad.

"Sshhh. Don't talk so loudly. We had promised to never speak about it when Stefan and Jake are inside the house. For now, let us sleep and don't worry about Stefan. I know that he is fine." I hear shuffling from inside and the clicking of switches. The lights are dimmed and my parents go to bed.

The last sentence of dad gives me shivers. His voice had a chilling effect. For a moment, he didn't seem to be like my dad. Mum didn't respond and neither did she come outside and come to my room to check upon me which is completely out of her usual manner. Is something wrong? Did my family give up on me? I don't have the answers to these questions. My heart is beating rapidly and I need to calm down. If my family hates me, I will have no one except for Jake left. Why am I even letting these thoughts cloud my rational thinking?