Falling

Chapter One: "Reasons"

"Hayme"

"I could write a thousand songs

I could cite a thousand reasons we belong

I could choose the perfect words

They'd still be better left unheard"

I'm pretending to be happy when in fact I'm not. How long will I keep this kind of life I chose to live just to move on from this feeling that I think will never ever leave me. But why am I still doing this?Why am I allowing myself in misery when all I have to do is just go for what I feel? Why?

"Hey.."

"Hey man."

"You're early..what happened? I thought you will spend the rest of the night with your partner in crime."

Partner in crime. We called ourselves as partners in crime. For months now,we shared a bond that brought us to this world that we didn't expect, in a short period of time our lives changed. It was like, we were just dreaming the other day, then we woke up and we're here. Nadine Lustre and James Reid.. Rising Stars.. A couple to watch out for. But just like how our status in showbiz industry changed, our relationship to one another changed as well. I didn't expect this, did not see this coming. But it feels so right..but for some..totally wrong.

"Uhm..Naddie needs to sleep early cause she was so tired after our taping today. She needs her beauty rest."

"Oh.You know Nadine is really pretty. Why are you not attracted to her?"

"She is beautiful..inside and out. But..it's complicated."

Smiling at the thoughts of her. Attracted is such a simple word to describe how I feel about her. What I feel about her is more than meets the eye. Something so deep it was etched inside my core, running through my veins, mixed in my blood that makes me alive. But how can I explain this to him? To anyone? To her? I can't even describe it to myself.

"Complicated huh?"

"Yeah.."I need a drink. I need one that will quench the thirst in me.Something so strong that will make me forget..just for one night.

"Okay..I won't ask you about that anymore. Here, I think you need a drink. You look so tired."

"I think I need that. Badly."

"You know man, whatever that's bothering you, hope you will find a solution for it as soon as possible. I don't want to see you look like that."

"Thanks bro. Thank you."

I hope that would be the case too. But as long as I'm with her..I don't think it will happen soon.

Why is this so complicated?

When all I have to do is to confess my feelings for her.. to say how much I love her and wait till she loves me back too.