Where Am I Supposed To Turn?

Chapter 3: Making Friends, Not Enemies

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

Hermione's P.O.V.

I woke up the next morning to music playing. Or more like trying to play.
I got up and went to the common to find Draco holding the violin and his faced scrunched up in concentration. "Draco?" I asked, trying not to giggle.
He jumped, dropping the violin onto the floor. His face going a deep shade of red as he glanced at me and picked it up. "I-I'm sorry Hermione. I just wanted to try and play it like you did last night and I couldn't remember the notes or even what song you said it was so I just tried doing something new and-"
"Draco!" I said giggling like mad. "It's okay! No need to apologize." I smiled at him.
He walked over to me and took my hands. "Hermione." He said, not letting go of my hands. "I want to spend the rest of my life apologizing to you for what I have done in the past. For calling you all those names, for not helping you when you were being tortured by my aunt. Hermione." he said my name with a certain desperation. "I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. You deserved more. You never did deserve the way people treated you." he sounded in pain at this point. I stared at him in shock at what he was saying as he continued. "You are brilliant and I love how smart you are. And everyday when I look at you I just can't help but think how beautiful you have become and how strong you are. I know I have done wrong. So much wrong. But I want you to know that I have changed and I changed for you Hermione. And I wish I could tell you how I feel, but I think you would just blow it off thinking that I'm just lying to you so I can hurt you even more, but that isn't the case Hermione! I just want you to know that." he finished his rant and looked at me expectantly. I stared back at him in complete and utter shock. I raised a hand to my mouth to cover it. I realized I had tears running down my cheeks as I gazed at him.
He started to turn away from me but I grabbed his wrist and turned him to face me again. "Draco..." I breathed. "Say it. Say what you were going to tell me. Let me know what you feel Draco." I stepped closer to him, so close I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. I could smell spearmint. "Draco..." I whispered to him. He looked like he was going to answer, but then he looked at me, anger in his eyes.
"I can't say what I want to say to you," he said it with force, it almost seemed to me like it was killing him to say this to me. "After all, you're with Weasley." He turned to walk away again, but I grabbed him by the arm again.
"Draco." I said his name, savoring the way it felt in my mouth. "Right now. I don't care about Ronald. And I would tell you why but I am more than slightly afraid." I dropped his arm and turned away, not wanting to continue. I could feel different tears running down my face as I thought about what Ron would say if he even knew that Draco and I were on first name basis. I shuddered, still feeling the pain in my wrist. I touched it, knowing the bruise was worse than it was yesterday.
"Hermione?" Draco asked softly, "Are you alright?" he put a hand on my shoulder and I flinched, he turned me around softly. He looked shocked at my tears.
"No I am bloody not okay Draco!" I screamed at him for no reason. "For once in my life I want something to go right! I want to not get hurt by a guy I bloody like or ogled at by everyone in the school just for something I did to help my best friend! I want to stop having these bloody nightmares every night! But most of all, I want someone to bloody fall in love with me! Not someone who pretends to, just to bloody shag me!" I started crying harder than I had earlier.
The next thing I knew, I was being engulfed in a bone crushing hug. I was so surprised I stopped crying for a little. But then the tears came full force. I cried for a good 20 minutes until I had no more tears to cry. Draco held me and smoothed my hair the entire time. He never told me not to cry. He just let me get it out.
"Hermione." he said softly when I was done crying. I looked up at him, wiping tears off my face.
"Y-Yes Draco?" I asked shakily. I was afraid of what he would ask me.
"Do you know what I was thinking yesterday when I saw your wrist?" I shook my head "I promised myself that I would never let you get hurt again. So you need to tell me if anything at all happens. Okay?"
"Okay." I answered. I tugged at my shirt sleeves, making sure they covered my wrists and arms. He didn't know. And I'd make sure he didn't find out. Draco hugged me again, rubbing my back.
"Draco, I'm going to go take a shower." I said after a few minutes. He let me go, and went over to one of the armchairs, and slumped down into it.
I walked up the stairs to my room, grabbed my shower things and my razors. I went to the bathroom and locked and placed silencing charms on the doors. I sat down on the toilet and stared at the razor in my hand. I lifted up my sleeves telling myself that it was okay.
The razor bit into my skin, I went deeper than I ever had. But I knew I couldn't fall for Draco. That is why I am doing this. Ron would hurt me more than I am hurting myself right now. I stood up, becoming a little dizzy from the blood loss. And got into the shower and cried.
After I got out of the shower, I changed into some jeans and a sweater with very long sleeves, I walked out into the common room to find Draco in the same place he was before I left. I walked to the kitchen to get myself some coffee. I walked back to the common room and curled up on the other chair and watched Draco for a bit. I heard light snoring and I smiled to myself. I decided to surprise him.
I walked over to Draco and put my mouth right by his ear. "Draco," I breathed. "Wake up, Draco."
Draco stirred slowly, and opened his eyes. He smiled at me, then leaned in and kissed me. I inhaled sharply and kissed him back, feeling electricity run up and down my spine, I kissed Draco with a burning passion that neither of us could extinguish. I felt light and happier than I had in a long time, his tongue ran across my bottom lip, demanding entrance, I more than happily obliged. Draco grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him, our tongues were battling for dominance. We broke apart, panting.
"W-why did you kiss me?" I asked in astonishment, I watched him carefully. I saw the longing and desire in his eyes.
He gave me a small, but genuine smile, "Why did you kiss me back?" he asked me softly.
I blushed a deep shade of crimson and moved back. "That- that has nothing to do with this! Why did you kiss me?"
Draco sighed and looked at me steadily, "Because I wanted to." He stood up and walked towards me as I backed away. "Is that so bad Hermione?" he breathed when he was close enough.
"N-no.. I suppose it isn't." I answered him.
"Good." he said, he moved closer to me and whispered in my ear, "I'll see you later Hermione." He smiled at me and left the common room, leaving me staring after him.

Draco's P.O.V.

I walked down the corridor, smiling to myself. 'I kissed her.' My smile got bigger. 'And it was brilliant.' I kept thinking about her warm, soft lips as I made my way to the Great Hall for breakfast. I sat down at the end of the table again, still smiling. I picked up an apple and took a bite, loving the crunch, and the sweet sour taste of it. I saw Hermione walk in a few minutes later, she glanced at me, blushed a deep red and continued towards the Gryffindor table. She sat down across from Weasley, and glanced at me again. I winked at her, and if possible she turned even more red.

Just then, the post came, owls swooping all over the place, my new eagle owl, Stormie, flew over and landed in front of me with a letter and the Daily Prophet. I set the Prophet to the side and opened the letter.

Dear Draco,
I know your secret. And if you know what is good for you, you wouldn't indulge any further than you already have.
You will learn in time that you need to find what will bring you up. Not down. That Mudblood will die if you go any further with her, You have been warned.
Love,
No one.

I stared at the letter in my hands. I got up quickly and walked out of the Great Hall, I half ran to the common room, stomped up the stairs and slammed my door shut. I placed a silencing charm on the door and proceeded to break anything and everything in the room.
After I had finished, I put the room back in order. I wouldn't admit to anyone that I was afraid of what the letter had said. I curled up on my bed, furious, but not knowing what to do to protect her. I heard a soft knock at my door, and got up to answer it. I opened the door slowly and peeked out. It was Hermione.
I flung open the door and pulled her into a huge hug.
"Draco?" she asked softly, still engulfed in my embrace.
"Yes?" I said, my face buried in her hair.
"What happened? Are you okay?" she asked
"Better now." I said, finally letting go. I kissed her forehead.
"Are you sure Draco?" she pushed some loose hair out of my face and looked into my eyes. I couldn't help but drown in her chocolate brown eyes. 'She is so beautiful. I can't help it. I have to kiss her again.' I leaned in close to her.
"I'm sure Hermione. I'm sure." I then let my lips crash against hers, making the kiss more heated than the first time. I swept my tongue across her bottom lip asking for entrance, and she conceded. We kissed like that for a long time. By the time she pulled away, we were both breathless.
"Why?" she breathed. "Why did you kiss me again?" She looked at me in confusion and wonder.
I put my mouth right next to her ear, making her shiver, "Because that time, I couldn't help it." I breathed.
I pulled back to see her expression. It was pained.
"Hermione? What's wrong?" I asked in concern.
"It's just that I'm still with Ron... And I don't know what to do." She said, near tears.
I looked at her shocked. Then I leaned in again, and kissed her forehead. "Then be with me." I said.
"I can't Draco." she whispered.
"Why not?" I asked in surprise.
She just looked at me. She looked like she wished she could tell me why, but looked scared. She bit her lip. "I have to go Draco. I'll see you later."
I stood staring after her, not knowing what to do. 'Why is she so afraid?'
I vowed I would find out. Even if it meant talking to Potter.