answer

freak show

To me, life consists of happiness and sadness. There's anger and disappointment. Also love and embarrassment. To be honest, I don't know where I'm going with this. But hopefully I take my dignity with me.
Anyways I'm asleep again. I have a couple hours left till school, so that's a relief. I usually don't like being with my own thoughts for too long. I feel as if my brain starts to... I don't know... I know that I just don't like it. It makes me fall into a long dark pit. Not bottomless though. In not scared of bottomless pits. If you think about it, it's not too scary, since you wouldn't have to worry about hitting the bottom. But if it's not bottomless, you'll be anxious and just waiting and waiting , just waiting till you'll die. Never knowing when it'll hit you.
Never mind that, just felt like sharing.
•••
As I look In the mirror after I finish brushing my teeth, I don't see me. I see a freak with unmatched irises. I see embarrassment. I see strings attached to me, from up the ceiling, just being controlled by fate. I see me.
As I walk away from the mirror with guilt, I decide to make room in my backpack. I take out two notebooks that I don't use much anymore, due to the fact that the notes I write in them are useless. I also take out my huge binder and replace it with two skinny folders, putting all the paperwork I need in it. This gives me lots of room now. Perfect. I grab my two almost completely empty sketch pads, and stick them in. I also get this really adorable case, and put my drawing pencils and erasers. Great. I also grab my Polaroid camera, just in case. I put it around my neck, since all my teachers know i have photography for fourth period, so they won't ask.
I put on my white and black striped button up, and add a clip on bow tie. Then I slip in black skinny jeans, and put my vans on. I slip on my backpack and head out into the real world.
•••
"Hey Simon." He looks up from his big fat book and gives me his schoolgirl smile. I return a smile and sit my butt down. I pick up my backpack from the ground, and fetch my book. Except, I forgot it. I'm a idiot.
•••
"Cookies again?" I ask, honestly just wanting a bite of that sweet dough.
"Yeah here." She drops about 5 cookies into my hand. Sweet. Natsu might be a bit weird, but she can please a man. Oh god that was gross. No . Scratch that.
   Bell rings and Lily still isn't here. This time she is absent. I hope she's okay. I grab my things and head onto 5th period. History. Lame.
    I fiddle with the pencil at my desk, all alone. I don't now why, but I can't stop thinking about Simon. I've never had this problem. Honestly I'm a little scared. No, nervous. Yeah. I hope he thinks I'm cool. I find him cute- oh wait I mean cool. Oh no. What if I'm falling In love? Oh no. NOO NO NO NO. I CANT. :( . I start tapping my fingers, to no rhythm in particular. I start breathing fast. My legs keep moving in different poses, trying to get comfortable. I'm trying to do avoid my thoughts of him. I can't fall in love with a boy. I JUST CANT. No. Oh no. This is, no this just a ... Phase? Yeah. I just... UGH WHAT DO I DO? WHAT IF I LIKE SIMON? NO , I LOVE SIMON.
    I hear kids laughing. What? I seemed to miss something funny. I look around the class to see what was so funny. But, everyone is laughing at, at ME. I start blushing instantly. Wait. What's happening?

"Who's Simon? Faggot."

    They all laugh. The teacher tries to move on with the lesson, but cant seem to get the classes attention. But confusion hits me like a door. I don't understand how they knew i was thinking of Simon. I ju- oh no.
   I was thinking out loud. I was thinking out loud. I. Was. Thinking. Out . Loud.

Kill me.
•••
   The hallways are usually, and always, a continuous war. This time shouldn't have been so different. But it was. I was swimming through the crowd of idiots, trying to make my way to sixth period. Which was outside for P.E. I was about to head downstairs, when Simon appeared. I give him a cliché handshake and started to make our way down the stairs. That's when it happened. Danny was behind me. Calling me names. I ignored, as usual. Simon was too. Then, a hand (most likely Danny's) shoved me down the stairs. I was pretty much in mid air, probably about to crack my head open. That's how it should've went. But it didn't.
   When I was in midair, WITHOUT EVEN THINKING, I grabbed Simon's arm. And took. Him down. With me.
   All I remember was:
•continuous gasps
•a couple screams
•my hearing fading away
•my vision blurring
and of course
•Simon on top of me
Then the rest was pure blackness, and death silence.
•••
I wake up at the nurses office. Ice on my head. My arm sore. My back aching. I was laying down. Pure whiteness, enough to make a man go insane. I force my self to sit up, a little bit at least. I turn around, to see not much but just papers, files, empty beds, wheelchairs. Then I see him. Simon is sitting in a chair, facing me. I can only see half of him. He seems to be fine! Yes. His eyes instantly meet mine. He smiles and waves. He gets up and I see his whole body. what...
   His arm had a cast. CRAP. He notices me , looking at his arm. He laughs and pulls a chair, dragging it all the way next to my bed. He pats my head. I feel numb. Like, in a good way.

"Hey. How ya doin ?"
"I'm so sorry!"
"Dude, it's fine. It should just last a couple of weeks."
"I'm so sorry... Really it's all my fault."
"Actually" he says " I didn't break my arm from the fall."

what

   He must've saw the confusion in my outcast eyes. He gives me his school girl smile and continues on.

"Yeah, after you knocked out, I got up and got in a fight with Danny."

Oh my...

"Yeah so, I was like kicking his butt, when he knocked me out too, making me fracture my arm when I landed. Thankfully, the faculty only saw the last part, so only he got suspended. Ha. The look on his face though. PRICELESS."

   I look at him, In amazement. He kicked Danny's  butt... For me?!?! Oh my goodness.

"Anyways, I heard about what happened in your 5th period class..."

NOPE SHOOT ABORT ABORT

"I UH, IM SORRY B-"

   He got up from his chair like as if he weren't even sitting on it, walks over closer to me, kissing.

My

forehead.

"Oh you have no idea" he says " how long I've been wanting to do that."

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Welcome...
To the Freak Show.