A Wave from Space

Losing friends

I don't remember coming inside Doc's room or for how long I'm on my knees. My hands touch his dried up blood. It is quite old. Neurons misfire. Doc talked to me just a few hours ago. Everything was supposed to be ok. There was a galactic storm, but everyone was fine. I want for this to be a nightmare. But reality keeps crushing me down. The smell is sickening. The vision persistent. His bed, drenched in blood. On the bed his small notebook... his pages of love notes. Did it keep him calm while he knew that they were going to kill him? Did he hold her memory as his was drifting away? He used his pen as a bookmark. My body acts on its own.

"I wish I could talk to you one last time. But I think you will know what I would have said to you. I love you, more than any mind can conceive. I love you to the end of the universe and back again. My only hope is for you to survive. But if you don't I hope the memory of our time together will keep you company and make what will follow easier for you. I could write for you until time's end, but I have to stop now. I must break my promise to you. Please forgive me. Thank you for the time we had together. Yours for all eternity." I find a razor in the open page.

I want to wail. Hit my body against the walls. Punish myself for not being here. For letting him die. But I can't move. I can't breath. My hands are shaking. I wish I could hug him. I've never done that while he was alive, because of some macho man bullshit. But they even took his corpse away from me. Why did you do it? You were supposed to never do that. I should use the razor too, but I don't have the guts. I rage against his pillow. Punching, spitting. I want my friend and nothing can bring him back.

Pain. My whole body is aching. I cannot live, but I can't take my life using his razor. So I will just overdose. Take my consciousness away from this sick reality. I head for my pills in my room. The door is unharmed. I lay down on my bed and reach for the drugs that I have hidden in a nick on the wall. There is nothing there but a note. Doc. Doc is... was the only person who knew about my stash. I wanna yell at him for putting me in this situation and then taking my ability to end it. But I can't, because he is dead and I'll never have the chance to say anything to him ever again.

"Busted! Seriously man, don't keep drugs in your room. Derek could guess and we both know that he is the kind of guy who would talk to superiors. Anyway I borrowed your Bicentennial Man blu-ray. Promise I'll be careful with it. -P"

This last reminder of how my friend was before hell came to this place is his last gift for me. I hold his letter over my hurting heart, feeling like I hold him there in a close embrace. And then the futility of trying to be close to him when he is gone hits me and I drop the letter.

It isn't fair. This thought comes over and over, as I walk towards the pharmacy to find drugs. It isn't fair that he would die. I want to see those responsible suffering. I want to gouge their eyes and choke the life out of them. It's an empty feeling that doesn't give relief, but it keeps me from thinking about him.

Just as I am about to reach the crossroad I hear noise coming from the way of the main entrance. Something heavy dragged on the floor. Grunting mixed with yelling.

I hide under a door frame of a half opened door just enough, so that I can catch a glimpse of what is happening.

What the hell? It's one of the mechanics Jake but he is so not himself. All his extremities have been replaced by powered prosthetics. His movement seem unnatural, too mechanical, even if he is part machine. I can't see all of his face, but at least his right side is covered in dry blood mixed with his hair. He is dragging someone by the legs. Maria. The spandex undergarment that we wear before we put on a spacesuit has been painted red on her abdomen. Her nose is broken and her hair dirty. But compared to Jake, she looks great. At least she still has her arms.

She violently flails her legs, trying to free them from his grasp, moving her entire body in the process. Her hands try to grab anything, from the floor to the walls. But Jake doesn't seem to care much about what she does. His new prosthetics give him enough strength to disregard her.

She sees me. My heart almost stops. Her once playful eyes are wide open in panic and bloodshot, baggy . I want to run to her help, but instead I froze like a deer in headlights. If she screams for help, I'm done for in a way that I wouldn't ever choose. But she doesn't ask for help. Instead she takes her eyes from me and pleads with her captor.

"Please let me go. Let me run. Run outside and never look back. Please." The effort of talking required the last bit of her emotional endurance. She starts crying. As she disappears beyond the crossroad, towards the Medlab, I hear her screaming. Calling out, to her mother and to to a god she didn't believe in, howling in between. I could never imagine her so different from her usual optimistic self.

What she said was directed to me, I figured that much. She expects me to leave this place, to leave her? She would rather stay a prisoner or die, than risk my life. Somehow this does it. She always was too good to me. Despite her cryptic warning, I won't leave her to her fate.

I couldn't stop Doc's death, but I am not going to let another one of my friends die. I may be a coward, I may lack the nerve to fight, but I won't abandon her. If I must die, I'll do that helping a friend. In the distance I hear the medlab door open and then close again. A fire in my heart burns away some of the pain. I know where I have to go now.

I walk fast back to the gym. It doesn't take long for me to find a medium size weight bar. Blood is on one end. It must have been used as a weapon by someone else before me. I feel confident, walking on the steps of my coworkers and friends. It feels right.

I walk to the medlab door. I don't hear Maria anymore. Am I too late again? Did they kill her? No. There is no reason to bring her to Medlab for that. There can be any number of enemies in there with bio-enhancements. I hate myself for having feelings of self preservation, after everything that happened. Was that what I would do if I was here when all this happened? Was that how I would help Doc? Tears gather in my eyes. Weak. I'm so fucking weak. I wallow in misery while someone needs me. Someone who tried to warn me, even when she couldn't speak a word without crying. A friend. She needs me. Now.

I wipe away my tears. My eyes burn. I tighten the grip on my weapon and press the door button.

There are no guards in the room, as I feared, not even Jake. There are only two people. Maria is the first one of course. She is tied on the operating table with her eyes closed. Her beautiful hair from the left side of her head are cut and lay on the floor. An IV drip is attached on her arm.

Next to her is Derek. I hardly recognise the second in command doctor. He is bald as well. I can see that he has stitches at various places on his head and a brain implant protruding from his skull. In his hand the hair trimmer he used on Maria. He turns to face me.