Cloud nine

~Chapter 2~

Monday 16th may
"April! April! APRIL!" My mother shouted. I woke up, fuzzy with sleep. I fell asleep at about 2:30. It was now 6:00.
"You're late for college  sweetie" she said. Their was dried tears all over my face and a box of empty tissues on the floor. Its contents were also dotted around the room. There was no way I am going to college. Not today.
"I'm not going." I said stubbornly, my voice cracked half way through and I was fighting tears. 
"You can't not go to school honey." She reasoned with me
"I don't know what has happened, you don't have to tell me but it helps to talk." I couldn't deal with her right now.
"Leave me alone." I sniffed.
"Ok, I'm going. But you have to go to school." She said. I nodded but didn't move. I can't go to school. I can't deal with "where's Jacob?" "Have you guys fell out?" "Has he cheated on you?" When the truth is, I don't know anything. I don't know if he has cheated on me, I don't know where he is, I don't even know if he is alive or dead, but what upsets me the most is I don't know why he didn't tell me he was leaving. It was all too much. I buried my head under the duvet and cried.

It was now 12:00 and I was still at home. I had plucked up the courage to go and speak to Nate. Perhaps he can help me out, he is Jacob's friend too, I guess. Maybe he is as upset as I am (although I seriously doubt it). He probably has a hangover as usual. He is probably exhausted.  There are probably more beer-stains in the carpet but, at least I can go into Jacob's room, and smell his smell. I get in my car, without make-up on and I don't care, because I don't care who thinks I'm pretty or ugly. The only opinion that counts to me is Jacob's and he's not here. He has left me.

I arrive at Jacob's apartment and ring the doorbell. No-one answers. Great. Nate is out. I find the spare key under the door-mat where it always has been and unlock the door. I am hit by the smell of alcohol. There are so many beer cans all over the floor I don't know where to step. So Nate had another party. Wow. I make my way through the maze of beer and find myself outside of Jacob's room. I hesitate before opening the door. I close it behind me, purely because I want Jacob all to myself, even though he isn't here. His room is neat as always, everything has a place. I can smell his after-shave in the room. I throw myself onto his bed and wrap myself in the covers and inhale him. His smell. I feel a pang of sadness wash over me like a wave. I suddenly feel like I'm Drowning, unable to breathe. I inhale my last breath and his smell has gone. A tear drips onto his pillow. I lay down and look at this picture he has in he wall. It's of me and him. I'm sitting on his skateboard with him and we both are eating an ice cream. I remember that day. He went to the skate park with his friends and I sat and watched them do tricks. I Wanted to be back in that day.  I hated feeling so useless, I would give anything to be back there, next to Jacob. I make his bed, just in case he comes back and thinks it's a mess. I wish he would come back. I can picture him coming home. Walking through the door right now. I can see him in my head. I hear the door close. I feel his arms around me. I can feel his breath. But it's all in my head. Just a helpless little fantasy. In my grief, I look in his wardrobe. All his things are gone accept from one hoody. He has gone. For definite. My heart feels like it has been crushed. I pull the hoody out of the wardrobe. It seems natural to take it and put it on. I pull it over my head and a small piece of paper falls out. I snatch it up, unable to believe that it was really there. It was his handwriting. I would recognise it anywhere.
23 warning tons Rowe, gh3 p04
It was an address. I took out my phone and winced at the lock screen, Jacob. I typed in the address in, my tiny fingers moving at the speed of light, hammering on the screen, and it flashed up. A map. It was 70 minutes from here. I raced down the stairs and into my car. I shoved my key into the ignition and Started up the engine. The car started with a quick speed and I pushed so hard on the pedal I thought it might snap.  The car sped down the road like It was a race car, and I was its driver. I felt the urgency pulse through my body. I followed the map to a junction where I turned left, so hard I almost fell out of my seat. I put my seat belt on, I had been in such a panic I had forgotten . I was speeding, and I knew it. I didn't care. I had to get there, nothing could stop me. And I think the world Knows it. I had to find My boyfriend.