Konoha High School: Junior Year (A Naruto Fan Fiction)

Part VIII

Part VIII

~Sakura~

I know you're not supposed to avoid the person you're having issues with. I know confrontation and communication is the number one way to solve problems. I know that, I really do, but right now, just thinking about Sasuke hurts.

When he walked me home from the funeral reception that afternoon, it took all my courage to get the words out of my mouth to ask him where he was that night.

When I asked, he immediately prickled up. "The night Neji died?" He repeated.

"Yeah," I replied, trying my hardest not to let fear seep into my voice.

He swallowed hard. "Um, I think downtown."

I tried to quiet the ideas and assumptions shrieking in my mind, but it was no use. "What were you doing downtown?" My voice cracked.

"Geez, Sakura, what does it matter what I was doing that night?" He got defensive. My heart was racing.

"Why won't you answer the question?" I mumbled in response.

"Why do you need to know?" He replied, full volume.

From there, another argument broke out and we both went home upset, again.

I know I should trust him. We've been dating for over a year. How can I trust him though when it's obvious that he's hiding so much from me, and has been doing so for months?

I don't want this to be the end of us. I love Sasuke, more than anything else. I just don't know how much more I can take.

Sasuke has become increasingly disgruntled at my avoiding him. Yesterday he caught me at my locker as I was getting my books. He startled me by appearing there as normally in that time block I visit my locker alone.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said to me. He looked at me like I was the most complex jigsaw puzzle he ever saw, and he was missing the final piece.

"It's fine," I mumbled.

"So what's going on?" He asked immediately, never having been one to dance around words. "With us, I mean."

"Nothing," I said quietly, trying to quicken the rate at which I retrieved my books.

"Sakura, don't lie to me," he said firmly.

I slammed my locker door shut. "You're right," I said, narrowing my eyes. "I shouldn't lie to you. I shouldn't lie because you don't lie to the people you love, right?" I spat, then turned my back. Without even facing him, in a voice battered by my own frustrations, I said, "Or is it that you never loved me to begin with?"

I walked away to the sound of him calling my name in the hallway.

I haven't seen him since then. In retrospect, such a brazen reaction probably only worsened the situation, but I couldn't keep it in any longer. After all these months of sneaking around and hiding such important things from me, and now what Tayuya said, I'm genuinely unsure of just how Sasuke feels about me. I used to be so sure that even if it was wordless, he loved me. Now, I feel less confident.

And why, why does he refuse to say that he loves me?

All of our friends poke fun at the lack of his articulation in that aspect and I try to pretend it's not a real issue to me, but truthfully, it's driving me crazy when compounded with everything else. Does he love me? Did he ever?

I walk home with Ino as she doesn't have Sai to walk with and I can't bear to be around Sasuke today. She has been a wonderful friend to me over the past couple days as I've been dodging Sasuke, even though she has been aggressively encouraging me to talk it out. She's been talking about how open and honest communication is the key to healthy relationships and all that, and I really do believe she's right, but there are some truths I just don't want to hear right now.