Sirocco (A Lesbian Story)

Chapter 1

"Promise me, promise me that you'll come back here when you finally set yourself free and ready to love again." She tells me sadly although there is desperation in her voice. I can see the tears forming at the side of her beautiful blue eyes. I try to wipe one stray tear but she moves her face away as if my touch burns her.

My throat feels constricted, my heart is being twisted; I am in the verge of crying but I don't deserve to cry. She is the one who is hurt not me.

"What if I will never be free?" I ask her gently. I feel guilty but I know my guilt will not take me somewhere. I don't even deserve to feel guilty.

She looks at me for a long time and smiles despite the fact that she is breaking inside; despite the fact that I am killing her with my words. It is not my intention but I don't want to give her false hopes. I want to love her, I desperately do, but I don't own my heart. Someone has taken it away from me and shredded it to pieces before throwing it into the wind of bitterness. But it does not stop me from wishing. God, I wish to love her. I really want to love her.

I gently cup her cheeks and stare into her beautiful eyes, luminous from the tears that are welling inside. I caress her beautiful face, memorizing her features and embedding it deeply in my mind so that when my heart is finally free -- I will never forget her.

"I love you," she tells me in a tremulous voice as she looks back into my eyes. Her tears flow like a torrent of rain. I don't want to hurt her like this but I can't comfort her with a lie. I don't want to pretend because if I do, I will end up hurting her more than what I do now in the end.

I smiled morosely. "Thank you for loving me." I want to embrace her, to comfort her but won't that be ironic since I am the one who hurts her? I don't have the heart to hurt her any more. "I have to go now. Good bye."

I start to walk away to the car that is waiting for me. My heart is agonized. I inhale a handful of air to ease the tightness in my chest. I can hear her sobbing. I continue to walk. I need to leave because I don't want to torture the two of us.

My chauffeur hurriedly opens the door when I approach him. He firmly closes the door once I am seated well. I sigh dejectedly and look through the car window. I take in the park; the trees, the benches, the cherubs, and the fountain. I take in the last time that I will see her and, most of all, the memories we both share in the park.

I wish I can give back her love. I sigh despondently before looking straight into the road. Maybe this is really good bye.

Chapter 1

"Gabriela!"

There was no mistake to whom that overly cheerful, shrilly and exasperating infernal voice belonged to. The she-devil even dared to knock at my door as if seeing her face was a matter of my life and death. I looked at my digital alarm clock and it read 7 AM -- What the hell? It is far too early; that she-devil. I wiped my eyes with my fists as my sleep was ultimately disrupted. I grudgingly came down from my huge bed and headed to the door to open it.

"Good morning, Gabriela!" Catherine energetically greeted me before embracing me as if we had not seen in ages - she was actually here yesterday. She was petite and barely reached my eyebrows but she did not have any difficulty suffocating me with her hug.

Why the heck did the maid let her in? I mentally groaned. I already told my maid not to let Catherine in if I was still asleep but I guess the latter had used her persuasion skills again. Oh, I forgot, she and my maid were actually close. Damn, this is conspiracy.

"Stop scowling, Gabriela, or else you will get older." She told me while playing with my face, stretching the sides of mouth until it formed a smiley.