Dear SEVENTEEN [SEVENTEEN Fanfic]

Letter 02

Letter 02

Dear Jeonghan,

Hi.

Oh, gosh. I'm sorry, I... I still don't really know what to say. I... The awkwardness you left for me, I still can't get rid of it. I'm really sorry.

I'm going to try, though. You deserve a letter too. If I can write to Sungcheol, I can write to you, too. I just have to believe in myself that I can do it.

It's going to be hard bringing this up, but... I'm sorry, Jeonghan. I'm sorry I couldn't accept your feelings for me. I've always seen you as just a friend, so I didn't expect you to suddenly confess to me.

I'm a bad person, I'm sorry.

But I'll try to keep the apology minimum here. I can't just keep saying sorry to you or it will burden you.

I'm going to instead talk about the first time we became friends.

That was when we were in grade three. You had short hair then. You, in fact, didn't have any intentions of wanting to have long hair. But look at you now. To be honest, you look great.

That day, our homeroom teacher was changing our seats. She did this every two months. She said change was to be made as often as possible and that we would be able to know each other better.

"Yoon Jeonghan, sit next to Song Suri. Suri, raise up your hand so that Jeonghan will know where to sit," Ms. Lee, our homeroom teacher said.

I raised up my hand. I sat on the second row, next to the window. I love my seat and always begged Ms. Lee to let me sit next to the window. It works every time-the begging.

Ms. Lee nudged you to sit next to me. You took slow steps towards the empty seat next to me and placed your bag down.

Being young and naive at that time, the girls and boys didn't like talking to each other that much. We were kids, so that's our usual thing.

But even so, we were forced to make friends with each other. You found it annoying and I found it stupid. Even our classmates groaned when the teacher told us what we had to do for the next two weeks.

"Yah, you have to. Whoever doesn't will have to sit outside the classroom every lesson for a week," Ms. Lee threatened with a punishment. Then, the bell rang. "Class is over. Make sure you remember."

With this assignment, I cleared my throat and said, "Hi. I'm Song Suri."

You turned your head and examined me with a raised eyebrow. "I know."

Now, you see, that would have been called rude. But to me, I just thought of it as not knowing how to answer properly. Maybe it's just me, but I'll never know.

But even so, from our unlikely start, we became good friends afterwards. Best friends, even so.

You stuck with me from the third grade to the tenth. People said we were inseparable and I shared almost everything with me.

But that all changed drastically that certain day after class. Do you remember that? I'm not trying to put the blame on you but sometimes I wish you hadn't...

It was our last class of the day and I was about to head home to sleep because I was really exhausted but you pulled me back and waited for everyone to leave the classroom. When they did, the classroom turned quiet and you still hadn't said a word.

I turned to look at you with concerned eyes. "Are you okay? Are you sick? Do you want to head to the nurse's office. It's not that late. It's probably still open right now."

"I..." was the only thing you replied. Your lips quivered, like you had something to say but couldn't. Like they were stuck inside your mind and you want them to badly be spoken out. Your eyes told me that. They were telling me you had something important to tell me.

"Wae? Is something wrong?" I asked instead, not knowing what was going on in your head. "I should go check if the nurse is still there. Stay here, first. Rest, even."

I slowly walked to the door but you held me back by grabbing my wrist firmly.

"I..." you said again. "I have something to say."

"Hmm? What is it?" I asked you.

"I... I... To be completely honest, I like you."

My eyes flickered a little. I didn't expect to hear you say that. "What?"

"I like you," you repeated, your eyes staring straight into mine.

I couldn't reply to you. I, instead, ran out as fast and far away as possible. You confessed me on the last day of school and I never replied to any of your calls and text messages over the past weeks. I couldn't bring myself to talking to you. Not after what you told me.

I feel really stupid, to be completely honest. All this time, Jeonghan, I only saw you as a friend. I never knew you secretly liked me. All those things you did to me, I just thought of them as friendly gestures. Never affectionate ones.

If I ever told you that day that I only saw you as a friend, I bet you would've cried. Even if you did, I wouldn't judge you. You're still human. You are allowed to cry because of pain. You are allowed to hate me after what I would've said. You are allowed to have your own set of feelings and thoughts.

Because, after all, we are all still humans and we're vulnerable even if we act like we're not. Even if we hide our true feelings, our tears.

Jeonghan, let me tell you something I never got a chance to tell you. I really love our friendship and I cherish it a lot. I know you probably feel like you've destroyed a close friendship and I'm sorry to have made that into a reality.

I'm an idiot, I'll admit that.

At least I should've told you sooner before it was too late. It's too late. But I should've reached out to you when you were falling. I should've helped you ease the pain by being a friend sticking by your side instead of running away and ignoring you.

I think it's too late now. But can't I rewrite our story? Can we see each other again? Heck, I don't even know where you are now.

So, I'm going to make a wish under the big, starry sky.

Star light,

Star bright,

I wish I may,

I wish I might,

Have this wish,

I wish tonight.

I wish I can meet you again, Jeonghan. I wish we can be friends again.

Love,

Song Suri

~Author'sNotes~

I had to rewrite this because Wattpad couldn't save the first one T.T Wattpad, what are you doing? It said I was writing on two devices at one time when I wasn't and I had no idea how to resolve the issue *pissed face* what are ya doing Wattpad?! yaish...

Anyway, here's a new chapter. It's not very satisfying compared to the first draft I wrote but I guess it will do :))

QOTU:

Do you have a nickname for your bias?

AOTU:

Nope:') I bet everyone else does xD

More to come soon :))

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung