Not yours anymore (an adopted by phan story)

Adopting

*Two months later*

Waking up was difficult, eating breakfast was too.

I had to do it alone, I'd been told multiple times that I was not aloud to eat with my family, and had to eat in my bedroom, with nobody but my cat to keep me company.

But the only thing she did was annoy me and try and eat my food.

Yeah, that's no help.

I changed out of my sleep clothes once I was done eating, and snuck out of my house.

I sat on my swing set behind my house, the whistling of the winds calmed me, it was quiet and cooling. Leaving a refreshed feel, fall was finally kicking in and I could finally wear long sleeves without it being weird.

My mind wandered, life was difficult and I really hated it sometimes, only a few things had kept me stable.

1) Kasey

And 2) youtubers.

Well... Kind of stable.

I still had tiny slits on her wrists, I still couldn't sleep well but was always tired, I still wanted to be loved.

But that wasn't going to happen.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, there where two things that could be... Take a guess.

Danisnotonfire has uploaded a new video (we have a suprise!)

What... What is happening.

I clicked the notification, and typed in my passcode as quickly as she could, (failing once oops)

I played the video excitedly, something big happened because tumblr notifications kept popping up of her followers sending messages, I decided to just see for myself.

"Hey guys!" The two boys on the screen said in unison, it echoed through my headphones.

"We have a big surprise and you're all going to freak out over it! Oh god what are we doing!" Dan chuckled as phil made a "freaking out" face and flapped his hands around.

"We're going to.... Drumroll please!"

I felt butterflies... What where they doing, they'd already come out (and they where married before that) so what could it be now... New channel... New Merch... New-

"We're adopting a kid!"

My heart felt like it exploded, excitement made her jump from the swing and gasp out a "WHAT!"

It had only been out for ten minutes but comments where already exploding, people saying "oh my god" in capital letters, congratulations, and once (to my disgust) a "this is wrong, your child will hate you and God is going to send you to hell".

But almost all of them where supportive, I didn't see more then a few homophobic comments, which made the occasion even better.

If only I could be their child... They're honestly more like my parents then my mum and dad where.

Eventually I calmed down and went inside, my family still weren't awake, as it was Saturday and none of them had work or school. I mean seriously, who wakes up at eight am on a Saturday, although I knew they would still be waking up soon.

I lazed around for a few minutes, scrolling through tumblr and listening as my family started to wake up and get breakfast.

The calm of felt from the quiet house was instantly replaced with dread. I knew that as soon as my family was awake I pretty much had to sit alone in my room.

My cat was curled in my lap watching as I scrolled through tumblr, not really paying much attention as it was all cast to listening to my family bustling about. I used to be part of that....

Well not anymore.

I missed them, kind of.

I missed being able to talk to them or do anything with them.

It was all gone now, replaced with muttering as I went out to get a meal.

I wished they'd never found my diary.

Never found out about me.

Or maybe that I just wasn't like that in the first place.

I wished I could just be a straight christian girl like them.

But I'm not.

God help me.