It hurts. Whatever it is, it hurts. You lie. Whether in bed or to yourself, you lie down, amidst all the pain, wondering where, how, when and avoid wondering: why?
I didn't even mention a scenario, but I bet when you read that you nodded, you felt something.
Do you know what it is, to be human? When you stare at this empty screen, do you feel your soul rise and fall with your breath? Do you even believe in the existence of souls? Isn't everything- 99% if my physics knowledge has taught me anything- just empty space? Yet it's true. You felt the pain. You are human.
It's times like this one must remind themselves we enter this world as a mere life or soul...we exist the same but it's the journey that counts. You'll be in pain for some of it- perhaps even most of it. But as it approaches 1am release yourself from the pain, embrace the void feeling of a parallel existence only you can imagine.
Breathe. It still hurts, it aches your heart. Your throat is raw. It's unyielding, uncompromising...let me add some similar adjectives to the list.
Ultimately, it won't matter.
We'll all die anyway.
These are the morbid thoughts I have- and yet with a satisfaction because I'm free when it won't matter.
It's just that, immediately it matters to me more than anything else. The pain is omnipresent and omnipotent. It's toxic. It leeches off your sleep deprivation, to your loneliness.
We're all inside some sort of box aren't we? One day that box will just...vanish. But sometimes a part of the content remains forever. Eternally searching to fully relieve that pain.
Approaching 1am these are my thoughts.
