Before you read please press play on the YouTube video thanks xx-Elise
Harlie Chivers and Barny Lee go into town to find a dog and name it Beethoven or Emily. Do then Harlie and barny arrive to see that the pet shop has got broken glass and no pets."I guess we are having some clues and not a dog" Harlie giggles. Harlie gets her cloak, hat, magnifying glass and starts to look for clues (she went Sherlock Holmes on us!)
Harlie is walking up to were the rabbits used to be and found a black peice of hair and informed the officer, all of a sudden *bring, bring,bring,bring* Harlie descovers a phone, she puts her gloves on and tells Barny to send the evidence to her boss. The next night the burglar swaps the hair for harlies hair.
*later that morning*
Harlie enters the detective department and receives a message from the boss saying "report to my office immediately".Harlie ,with quiveing hands, went to the bosses office. The boss got really mad.Harlie packed her things. She got fired but before she left she took the phone and tracked it down. Harlie went home and started to do some research and found out were the killer lived. He lived in Basel town. So Harlie and Barny goes to Basel town, it wasent far away, then Harlie and Barny locked down the house and finds the burglar but suddenly the burglar runs fast, luckily for Harlie and Barny there were cops surrounding the house because Barny contacted the police.
The police catch the burglar. He got put in jail for 20 years and gets the pets back. Harlie gets her job back, money award and a dog called Beethoven. Harlies boyfriend Jake (of 1 year and 8 month) picks her up and spins Harlie around and says "what a fantastic case you solved, babe. I love you," He gets down on one knee and then says "Harlie I love you with all my heart, will you do me the favour and be my wife?" Harlies mouth drops (she says no and gets with Barny,jk jk) "I will marry you Jake!" Harlie said. Jake jumps up and kisses Harlie passionately.
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How was that? If you want to make it more interesting change pet shop to orphanage and change burglar to killer. I made this in a group and this was my teachers feed back:
What a romantic ending!
I like you interesting vocabulary and you used dialogue to speed the drama along.
-> Use descriptive language and time connectives to set the scene.
