Violet Roses

Dancing in the Rain[Part Four]

"Yeah.Im pregnant."My mom said through the phone.I just stood their staring absently minded into the restaurant at the guys who joined of for dinner.I could see the boys smirking and waving their hands around frantically,but it felt like a dream.

This whole situation felt like a dream,or an out of body experience,and that I was back at my dorm sleeping peacefully,until the future me woke me up and took me here.It all felt so unreal,but I knew that at any moment,I would stap out of this daze,and everything would hit me,and I would have to face reality.

I was scared for the baby.My mom wasnt the greatest mother,and my dad left her right after I was born.Seth told me he left us because he couldnt handle taking care of another nuscane like us,so he headed for the doors and never came back.Luke said that I look so much like him,and that it often hurts for him to look me in my eyes,because he see's a horrible father and mother staring back at him.It honestly makes me feel bad,that they cant look at me without seeing that type of man and woman,but its hurts even more that I look like them the most.

After my dad left,my mom was barely home.She'd be out all the time,from the morning she woke up.I knew she didnt want us to know this,but I knew for a fact that she was trying to avoid having to come home and pay bills,cook dinner,wash dishes,and be a mother.Thats why Luke,Seth,and Jace took matters into their own hands.I think of them more as a mom and dad then my real ones.

It hurts to think that I dont really have parents.I feel like they dont love me and that out of all the kids they had,I was the mistake.The one that they wish they could take back and be a happy family.My brother's would tell me stories,how before I was born,they were all happy.They'd go to the beach and soak up the sun while splashing in the emerald green water.How they'd go to the park and listen to the music the birds created as they sat down and had a picnic.They told me how they would all sit down and have dinner together,telling how their day went.Then,they told me,that when I was born,they'd go to the beach less,they wouldnt go to the park,and they barely ate dinner together.

It makes me feel like I ruined their lives,and Id often cry myself to sleep.The thought of committing suicide crossed my mine too many times for my liking.It made me wonder if they would even care that they found their daughter in the tub,with blood red water.Or if they would care to find me laying on my floor with a bullet through my chest.The thought of going off and just hopping into the car with a complete stranger also found its way into my mind.I always wondered if they'd care to see my name flashing across the HD screen talking about how I was kidnapped.

I knew that as soon as this baby came,my mom would be that stork.The one that would mysteriously drop a baby off at our doorsteps,wrapped in a blue backet,sitting in a woven basket.She'd make the baby our responsibilty,make us take care of her/she while my mom went off to do whatever she does.This baby would be just like me.Unloved.Bascially parentless,or so I thought until my mom spoke up.

"Im so excited.We're going to shower her with love and we're going to be the best parent in the world.We're going to be their for her when ever she needs us."I heard my moms voice say through the receiver.I felt my heart stop,and my eyes glaze over with tears.My eyes began to sting and my breathing picked up.Jace must have noticed because I heard him talking to me,but I was ignoring him.

"Loved.!!? Best parents in the world.!! Be their for her when she needs you.!!? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT TYPE OF ATTITUDE WHEN I WAS BORN.!!!" I screamed,my voice getting higher and higher.

"Lily.!! You know we loved you.!!"My mom yelled.

"Oh really."I said giving a dry laugh."If you loved me,you would have been home for us.Dad wouldnt have left.You guys would have still been a happy family.If I was loved,then the thought of killing myself wouldnt have occurred to me every night." I said finally letting a tear slip.Seth,Jace,and Luke gave me a shocked look,and Luke opened his mouth to speak. The tears began to flow out and I turned around and walked back to the lounge to get my bag.All the sudden chatting and happiness left the room as soon as I stepped foot inside.Everyone turned to look at me.The girls sneered and the guys gave me sympathetic looks.Than,I realized they heard everything because the door was open.I ignored them along with my name being called.I wiped my tears away and walked over to our table grabbing my purse bag and throwing a tip on the table.