𝖋𝖆𝖑𝖑 | 𝕸𝖈𝕮𝖆𝖑𝖑 - Updated 2024

Chapter 14. To Be Alone, Is To Be The Ocean

I just want to thank everyone for being patient with me over the last few months. I have struggled to find the power to upload lately. A very very good friend of mine died a few months ago. He was very young and my whole heart. Remember to always hug your friends and tell them you love them, you never know when it will be the last time you see them. Thank you all for being understanding. 

This chapter is dedicated to him 

Brayden S.

Forever in our hearts

September 2000 - August 2021

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Chapter 14.

Alone is to be the ocean

Aurora huffed as she threw herself onto her couch. It was an incredibly boring Sunday night in, the events of the night before still had her exhausted. It was quiet nights like these that she wished she didn't feel so alone in the world. It was the moments when you're truly alone when everything hits all at once. It was easy to feel like a God when you're distracting yourself. Aurora would try her best to always be doing something. Whether it was something bad or just plain old getting up to no good- that was when she felt the best. That was when she felt powerful and untouchable. But the moment she was alone, she was drowning in her own mind. Swimming in waves of emotions that she tries so desperately to stay with her head above water. But the longer she tries to stay afloat, the stronger those emotional waves get and in the end they come crashing down and suddenly her lungs are full of water and she's choking on her trauma, her head feels like it's going to explode and just when she feels herself slipping away- something inside her clicks.

Aurora hated when that happened, when that something inside her snaps, she becomes someone she hates. It was like her brain's way of coping, by shutting off everything. She would become manic, uncontrollable, self-destructive, pretty much every toxic trait you hate about yourself multiplied by ten. One of the many reasons why Aurora fled every town she ever stayed in. Was either because she was worried that she was getting too close or because Aurora had single handily destroyed everything around her, in a sad attempt to cope. Aurora hated it because it never lasted, it was a high that she always came down from. And God was the come down horrible- because Aurora remembered everything, she remembered every scream and cry. She remembered the feeling of blood on her hands, and she remembered the way that she liked it.

Aurora shook her head, trying to rid herself of her intrusive thoughts. And just like the universe heard her crying for help- there was a knock at the door. It took Aurora a moment before she realised that someone was in fact at her front door. The person knocked again and then again. And again. Aurora groaned, yelling out a quick, 'Coming'. Aurora opened the door and was met with a big cheeky grin.

"Stiles?" She laughed as she watched him struggling to hold up his gaming system in his hands, "What are you doing here?"

"Well- I was bored so I decided to come over so we can play games" Stiles stated as she pushed past Aurora and headed into her living room. He looks around before heading over to the TV and begins to set up. Aurora smiled to herself as she watched him, she hadn't had a friend in a very long time. It was in that moment that Aurora decided that she did not want to snap. She did not want to destroy this friendship. And she was going to try her best to actually try here.

Aurora looked at her phone, "It's 11:30pm" She looked at Stiles as he paused the game, "We've been playing for three hours, I'm hungry" She laughed, standing up and heading to the kitchen. Stiles follows her, sitting down at the counter.