Mark is falling apart.
Jackson broke up with him to be with BamBam.
Jr and BamBam are all besties now.
Yugyeom thinks he's better than Mark now. He doesn't add ~hyung at the end when he talks to Mark.
Jb is so obsorbed with Youngjae he doesn't really care.
Youngjae is busy basking in the attention he doesn't notice either.
And BamBam doesn't care.
Oh. And Mark isn't aloud to eat anymore. Every other day he's aloud dinner and breakfast. And that is if he has time to eat. And then the rest of his day is napping then straight to practicing and training.
So Mark does that. Having nothing better to do.
He has no one to talk to, hangout with, conplain about life, because the other members don't care, and there's a time difference between L.A and here.
~~~
So none of the other members notice when he skips eating, even on days he's aloud to eat, to exercize.
Their manager notices though, and Mark feels happy when he tells Mark that "That's good, skipping food to exercize? You'll look better in no time if you keep this up."
~~~
None of the other members notice when Mark really starts losing weight. On days he's aloud to eat, he has his low carb diet, and won't eat more than 20 carbs for the day.
The people who design their clothes notice though, when they have to take in his other clothes to make them smaller, as well as to drop size on the clothes they were going to design.
~~~
None of the members notice when Mark only has lunch on days he can eat. Or that he has to wear a belt with everything.
For one of their photo shoots, though, one of the photographers notice when he sees Marks belt. He asks about it and Mark says, "My pants are too big for me now."
~~~
Mark can barely stand straight. He's so skinny and he feels so sore, the bruises seem to be a lot darker than they ever were.
Yugyeom notices when Mark walks into the kitchen to make tea and he can't reach the top row a d has to ask Yugyeom to get it for him.
Yugyeom asks why and Mark says, "It hurts to reach for it." The maknae does it.
But before this, Yugyeom would never talk like that.
~~~
Mark used to be a size 16. He's a size 11 now. Mark can't lift any weights any more. He can't do any cartwheels, either. He's too underweight and weak.
~~~
Mark can't do cartwheels or flips anymore.
Management notices.
The other members notice.
It happens when they are practicing and Mark has to do a cartwheel, but he can't. He ends up falling.
His arms are too small, he can't support himself.
But Jb just tells him to get up and try it again. But Mark can't.
And he cries.
He cries because his thighs aren't supposed to be this small and tremble when he tries to get up. He cries because he's supposed to be one of the flyers. But he can't even manage to do a cartwheel. He cries because he's so sore and bruised. He cries because he's tired.
He cries because his stomache is rumbling and he just wants to eat. But he's not aloud.
And then Jr, his old best friend, BamBam's new best friend, is on the ground with Mark, holding both of Mark's wrists in one hand while frowning.
Jb is one the ground next, too, behind Mark, touching his hip bones and lifting his shirt in the back to look at his back where the crack came from.
Youngjae, of course, goes with Jb. And he's trying to wipe away Mark's still-flowing tears away, while wiping Mark's bangs out of his face at the same time.
And Mark just slumps backward, putting his weight against Jb, and resting his head back on Jb's shoulder.
And when Mark looks up, he see's the two maknae's looking down at him crying and sobbing in each other's arms.
Then there's Jackson, whose looking blanky at him, like he's not sure this is real.
And Mark smiles at him.
And then Mark is laughing. Laughing and giggling like a mad man. Mark's ribs and sifes hurt, but he doesnt care. He giggles high pitched, low pitches, some giggles are more like choking sounds, too.
And a fresh set of tears rolling down his cheeks. Maybe it's from the situation or the pain.
And now they all look at him like he's lost his mind, but he doesn't care. He keeps laughing until it sound like screams and sobs and his whole body is shaking.
~~~
Mark doesn't know what happened. But he's in Jackson's arms, being cradles like a child, pressed to his chest.
Mark has wanted to be here for months.
But it feels so foreighn, because this is where BamBam's been.
And then Mark is being carried into the van, still with Jackson.
And then Mark sees white and hears yelling.
He hears gasps and cusses and can practically hear the cringes.
~~~
Mark weighs 113 pounds.
Mark can count the bones in his ribcage.
Mark cant stand straight.
Mark can here cries and screams.
~~~
Mark smiles.
