The greatest mistake you can make in this life is to continually fear you will make one
-Elbert Hubbarb
"Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them."
"Wouldn't stop you, though, would it?"
Garfield clicks the remote again before I can comment, switching the channel. He's a channel surfer, but after I introduced him to the guide on my satellite, at least it has somewhat improved. I'm now able to catch more than a couple seconds of the show before he changes it.
"I reject your reality and submit my own."
Mythbusters. Flip
"You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is: never try."
The Simpsons. Flip.
"Is tuna really chicken?"
I wait for Garfield to change the channel, but he doesn't. The doorbell rings, and I hear the door open and close. Again, I wait, but no one shouts out. I look at Garfield, but he doesn't seem bothered, either. And then I spy his phone. He didn't...
He did.
You walk into my room, looking at Garfield at the foot of my bed, leaning back on one elbow with a knee raised. His remote hand is across his body, and he doesn't seem inclined to notice him. You then look at me; right into my eyes as you walk over. Without so much as asking for permission, you climb up beside me, reaching across for a pillow and fluffing it behind you before leaning back. I remain watching you through this process, not with hostility, but disbelief. Since when have you become so bold?
You look at the T.V. without giving me a chance for a glance.
"And now, we have an exclusive with the ever evasive author of Children of the Moon."
"What?"
"So, I think what we all want to know is: why are you so illusive?"
"She's laughing," the agent responds, smiling. She waits a moment before relating her client's words. "She says, 'I think you mean elusive, with an E. Illusive with an I means to be deceitful. I, by no means, am trying to be deceitful. I simply wish to portray my imagination for others to enjoy. This is the most gratifying pleasure that I have ever been able to experience. To answer your question: I am simply a very private person. I wish to keep my public and private lives separate.'"
"Will you, one day, allow us to know your identity?"
The agent doesn't need long to relate. "'Perhaps, one day, when I feel as though I'm settled enough in my private life.'"
"How about your new book? Will you give us some hints as to what we can look forward to?"
"'My book has been going good as far as now, however, recent activity has forgone my time to write. As always, I will not allow you knowledge of what comes to fruition as that would ruin the surprise. You know how I like my surprises."
The interviewer laughs, "Yes, well, I think we all know about those. But, is there anything that you can tell your fans?"
"'Perhaps the only thing I can reveal is that there is going to be a big surprise in this book. You'll just have to wait to find out what it is and who is involved.'"
The screen freezes before flipping back to the hosts. Garfield groans.
"You will find more of that interview on our website."
