Long checkered shirts

Five.

I wake up to a jolt.
Where's Daisy? Is the first thought that comes to my head.

"Alex?"
I turn around to see my nurse.
What was her name again?

"Hi.."
"Hi, Dr. Brady would like to see you."
"Who?" I ask.
"He's the counsellor."
"Oh no. Oh hell no. I'm not having a fucking-"
"Language!" She interrupts.
"Sorry.." I say, "but I don't want to 'talk' about my 'problems' or anything, can I not go, please?" I plead.
She doesn't say anything, so I try to convince her one last time.
"I want to wait for Daisy."

I wait...

She sighs, "fine, okay, but if you miss this this session, you can't leave for at least another week."
"A WEEK?!"
"Don't shout!"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry.." I sigh, look down at my hands, I didn't realise I was fidgeting so much, and I look back up towards the nurse, I'm sitting crossed legged now. I sigh one last time,
"Okay, it doesn't matter, I've just got to know if Daisy is okay."

"You know, you can go to this session, leave, and check back in here tomorrow, to see if she's back?"
"No, I want to be here, besides if I did leave, they may not let me see her, at least if I stay here, I can see her straight away.."

I look back down at my hands.

"Alex..."

I look up.

"... You may not, you know, what you see... As in she may not look the best, and it may hur-"

"I'm a strong girl, I can handle a bit of blood.." I look towards my ankle, which as many stitches in it, 7 to be exact, and dried blood around it.

"I know you are, just don't get you hopes up that she's going to be all okay, she may not be, she's very ill."

"But you'll make her better right? That's your job!"

"We're doing the bes-"
"Well if she dies, then the best is not enough! You need to do more! Promise me!"

"Promise you what?"

"Promise me you'll do more than your best to help her."

Silence.

"Alex.. I-"
"Promise me!" I start feeling tears in my eyes, and close them shut, so tight so that no tears fall out, and turn my head.

I scoff, "it doesn't matter, I get it. Don't make promises you can't keep, right?"
I turn over to my side, my back facing her, and pull the thing paper cover over me.

"Alex, I didn't mean-"
"Please leave me alone. You're not needed right now."

I hear her sigh, and her footsteps get quieter, before I think of anything else, I fall asleep again, why am I so tired?

*************************************

I wake up, turn to my side, and vomit into a cardboard bowl.

My stomach churns and it aches.

Suddenly nurses and doctors are at my side.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm... In... Pain" I gasp, I can't breath. My heart beats in my ears, things start to go black around my eyes and I try to focus on one thing, but I keep blinking heavily, my train of thought is lost, and nothing feels real.

I think: maybe this is all a dream.
I think: or a nightmare.
I think: it can't be, otherwise I wouldn't still be in this hospital.
I think: it can't be a nightmare, I'm not scared of hospitals.