THERAPY (excerpt)

Part 3

Jessica

ANOTHER WEEK OF school has inched by and I've done my best to ignore the picture they put up on Instagram and the ridicule that's followed it. Being silent may seem weak, but staying silent takes more strength than they'll ever know.

I'm hoping Harrison will be able to see me this weekend. I've tucked a note in his locker, letting him know I'll be home waiting for his call if he decides he wants to hang out.

He doesn't really talk to me much at school, which I guess I understand. It would only cause him unwanted drama. Elizabeth and her minions have everyone at school convinced that I'm an infestation of STDs.

Mom is Martha Stewart today, which means a cooked meal for dinner. She's humming and prattling around in the kitchen like we're the Cleaver family. Dad will be home soon. He's having a business partner over for dinner, which also means Mom will be on her best behavior. I'll stay huddled up in my room for as long as possible until I'm forced to smile and interact with everyone.

My brother is the star of the family and can do no wrong in Dad's eyes. Jeff always gets the attention from Dad that I crave. I had hoped that when he left for the University of Texas Dad would finally begin to see me, but that didn't happen.

I hear my phone buzzing and grab it, hoping it's Harrison. I swipe the screen, revealing his sexy, tan face.

Harrison: Hey, you wanna hook up tonight after all?

Me: Sure! Where and what time?

Harrison: Meet me down at the parking spot by the water tower at 9 p.m. C you there.

I'm instantly excited, and start rummaging through my closet to find something hot to wear for him. I grab a black miniskirt, red halter top, and my laciest underwear. He never has condoms, so I'll have to stop and get some at the 7-Eleven on my way there. It's a given that we'll have sex. I know it sounds horrible, but I don't feel bad about it. Guys want it, and if you don't give it to them, they don't want you. I want him to want me, so sex is necessary.

I just want to be wanted.

Loved.

After a painstakingly boring meal with Mom, Dad, and his business partner, I change and head out. I tell my parents I'll be back by curfew, but they won't notice if I'm late.

I go to the 7-Eleven and buy a pack of condoms. A few get shoved in my purse and I toss the rest in my glove compartment. I check my makeup in the mirror and run my fingers through my long dark hair. I stare into my hazel eyes and wonder what other people see when they look at me.

Do they only see a slut?

A weird girl?

Are they really even looking at all?

I shake the thoughts away and save them for a later time when I can write them in my journal.

I put my little Honda into drive and head out to the town water tower. It's always been a popular parking place for the local teens. As I get closer, I notice a couple of different cars and wonder why there are people out here so early; it's usually later before anyone starts showing up. I pull in farther and park.

I scan the area and see a couple glowing cigarettes, but can't make out who the people are smoking them. My heart rate kicks up; I hope they aren't I Hate Jessica club members.

Me: Harrison, where are you? I'm here.

About five minutes pass by, but I hear nothing back from him. I decide to wait a little longer, because I really want to see him. I jump when I hear a knock at my window, and turn to see Elizabeth staring back at me with a smug grin on her face. My heart jams into my throat, and my breathing speeds up into high gear. At least when she corners me at school there's usually an out. It's a crowded, public place with adults around to prevent any serious situations. But this? This is very different. I have no idea why she's here, how she knew I was here, or what she wants with me.