Rule #1 - You Must Learn to Love Yourself Before You Can Love Somebody Else
Now before we start this off, I need every reader to promise that they will at least attempt to put these rules to use. In return, I promise that I, as the writer, will never steer you in the wrong direction. Ever.
Let us begin.
You can not love someone, I mean truly love someone, until you have learned to love yourself. It is impossible. We accept the love that we think we deserve, and if you do not love yourself, no one will ever love you the way you deserve to be loved.
You set the tone.
One can only treat you how you allow them to treat you. If you allow someone to treat you like shit, you are teaching them that you are shit, and it is perfectly fine to treat you as such.
You have to know your worth and show your worth if you ever want someone to treat you like you have any worth.
Cynical as it may seem, people ain't shit, and they will treat you like fucking scum if you accept it.
Now I am not holier than thou, this is still a concept that I struggle with greatly. I have insecurities through the roof, but I am learning to love every single flaw.
Just a year ago, I was kneeling before a toilet shoving my finger down my throat, all because I couldn't love myself. I may have permanently ruined my body because I was so insecure and literally hated myself.
Three years ago, I was scarfing down Tylenol because I didn't love myself enough to live. In turn, nobody else did either. I didn't make it a point for the one I loved, or thought I loved, to respect me and because of that he didn't.
Time and time again I tortured myself with the constant thought of not being good enough.
He cheated, boy did he cheat, and instead of thinking "I deserve way better than this bullshit" I was thinking "What didn't I do? Why her? I just want to be everything he wants" Pathetic right?
Fast forward a year or two, I ended up losing my virginity. Obviously I fell utterly and completely in love with this boy. We weren't together, just good friends and I trusted him enough to do the deed. I didn't expect to love him, the thought never crossed my mind, but I did, and I honestly still do.
Now this was something new to me, I'd liked guys before, but this was some new shit. I was more than smitten. He is the subject of every poem I have written, but he is for next chapter. Let's just say he is, and I quote, "the rotten apple of my eye".
In similar fashion, he fucked up, I allowed it and the cycle repeated itself. And because I loved myself so little, I got hurt, bad.
So please listen when I say you can not love someone unless you love yourself first, I mean technically you can, but love is about reciprocity. So to rephrase, you can not have a prosperous love, until you love yourself. Giving someone your everything and getting treated like shit is not love, it is parasitical.
Giving everything and receiving nothing.
And trust me, if you do not love yourself, you will get treated like shit.
Every time.
