Forgotten Secrets

I opened my eyes and realized i wasn't in my bed, neither in my bedroom. There was an empty ceiling, white and different than mine in my room. Trying to lift my head to see where I could probably be, I only felt a huge headache. My head bounced back to the pillow and i reclosed my eyes. What had happened to me? I couldn't remember anything, even if I tried my best and thought about the past few days. Suddenly, my thoughts were inerrupted by the opening of a door and different voices talking to each other.  

"Honey? Maddy, are you awake?" 

"Please Mrs Carter, she needs to rest now. You should be as quiet as possible." 

"I'm sorry...", my mother whispered. I could finally manage to open my eyes again, and the pain returned. 

I heard the doctor's voice, talking quietly with my mom but I couldn't concentrate and the only words i could catch were "steady", "rest", "a few months". I watched my mom nodding or looking at me until she finally asked me: "Honey, how do you feel?" I opened my mouth and all I could say was a deep whisper telling "What happened?" I saw tears entering my mother's eyes but she tried to cover them with a smile. "Don't worry, everything will be alright." Well, okay, I could live with that, but she wasn't answering my question. Maybe she didn't hear it. "Mom, what happened?" I repeated, a little louder than the first time. Before thinking about any answer, she looked at the doctor, standing next to her. I wasn't able to look up at him, so I couldn't see what secret signs he gave my mom before she looked back to me and smiled a sad smile. 

"We don't know. You have to rest, please sleep. You will remember it, but first stay calm and let your body rest." I nodded, it was the only thing I could do, but my head was explosing with all those questions about how i ended up here. 

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After a few days in hospital I found out that I wasn't really enjured but i felt so weak. And although my mom and the doctor said that my memories would come back after the recoverment, I still had no clue what had happened. I remembered how I went to school, I don't know what day exactly, how I sat in my lonely corner observing the other students walking by. Reading a book and enjoying the sun, that was what I've been doing for the last years while the breaks at school. I didn't have real friends, and I sorted out to live without any. Everyone knew me as the weird outside broker, sitting there, never talking. I surely could've had friends. I used to have many about three years ago. But when it came to serious problems i realized that there was nobody next to me. They all left. And pretended that they had never talked to me before. Just because i was HIV-infected. The disease hadn't appeared yet, that's why i needed to take pills since our doctor found out about the infection. I had a really tough time so my parents decided to move to some other town. And since I had a very bad opinion on 'real friends', I decided to live without someone who could hurt me by leaving me. 

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The therapist walked into my room. She was a nice, smaller woman with shorter blond hair and her actions were very calm. The way she talked to me reminded me of a shy deer. 

"So Madelaine, I am Dana Olivers. You can see me as your therapist or your friend, just the way you like. All you have to do is to feel comfortable with me. Do you want to tell me anything?" 

I didn't say anything. I wasn't feeling comfortable at all. I couldn't just talk to a foreign person about my life, it made me feel weak.  

"okay, I understand you perfectly Madelaine, and it's no problem, that's normal for everyone, believe me. So I wanna tell you a little about me.  

Let's start with my name. My second name is Kriemhild, I know it's a weird name. It comes from my grandmother, she was german. I hate that name to be honest. But well, not many people know it."