You Again || Tomlinson {editing}

{23}

-Journal Entry: Jenny-

It's been three months since I last wrote in here. I've barely even use this. Well I am here to update you in the span of three months. Three months is quite a long time so this may be long. First of all, after Louis called me 'whore' I haven't been in contact with any of the Direction boys except Harry. That night I locked myself in my bedroom and for the first time ever, I had put a blade on my skin. 

I've been talking to the 5sauce lads and they're super rad people. I've grown closest with Michael. He has this personality I quite figure out just yet. I can relate to him so much it's once in a millennium you meet someone you can relate to so much. Luke even admitted to having feelings for me.Luke is cute and super kind so I tried things out with him. We both agreed we do not work as a couple. More as something else. Friends with benefits.

I've been slammed by the media numerous times being called a 'slut' 'fat' and even a 'gold digger', which I am none of those things. At least that's what I use to  believe. Having articles written about you in a negative way constantly, slowly makes you believe them more each day. 

You start to try to become perfect. That's all I want to be. I want for everyone to not judge me. I want them to not be able to point out a single flaw. Alas, that is not going to happen for me. Everyday I receive more hate than the other. It's messes with your mind.

Harry visited actually last week. I forgot to wear a sweater and he saw my cuts. I had poured all my emotions to Harry that day. He now knows and understands why I harm my body. He knows why I refuse to eat. Why I go to the bathroom after I eat. He knows everything and that scares. 

When someone knows all your secrets and knowing that one day they can just walk away from you and pour them out to the world. But I know he would never do that. No one else knows of my problems which makes everything a whole lot easier on me.

I must go now, I have a show to prepare for. Jenny xx