Sinner

Part 6 Recollections

The ghoul in Kelly's bedroom gave him a scare earlier. My decision to keep her chained nearly killed her. If she dies, I'll have another ghost haunting me.

The bloodcurdling scream woke him from his light sleep and he hurriedly dressed for emergency. When he reached her door, it was locked and shut tight. He didn't recall locking it. Pounding on the door didn't yield any response from Kelly. He could hear her loud, piercing cry through the door. The scent of fear permeates the hallway and seems to emit from her room. Not waiting for her permission, he forces the door open. The sight of the ghoul crawling and nearly reaching her galvanizes him into action. Training kicks in and he automatically dispatches the ghoul.

I'm relieved she's unharmed. I've been charged by the Goddess to look after the werewolves. I would be derelict in my duty if I let her die on my watch.

Keenan walks to the window and stares out of it into the night unseeingly. The past begins to surface in his mind.

After his forced change, the first night was a blur. The next morning, he finds his hands covered in blood. No memories were retained and he can't remember what he did when he was asleep. As more nights passed, the same thing repeats. Until there came a time he realizes what is happening and dreads the coming of the night.

When night comes, I involuntarily revert to my formless mass transformation. Each night, after my transformation, I would not retain any memories of what I did during the night. But each morning I would wake up covered in blood, sometimes with shreds of flesh clinging to my skin. There are times when I wake up with a torn limb of my prey in my hands.

Shuddering visibly, he recalls more of his horrifying past. The dead bodies pile up. I have no recollections of how I killed and disposed of the bodies. Conscience and guilt weighs heavily on him. He looks at his raised hand, as if scrutinizing for blemishes.

At first, I would gag at the sight of human limb in my bed and rush to wash the blood off me, but as it turns frequent, I become inured to it. I slowly get used to waking up with the sight and stench of blood and flesh. Eventually, I start to accept the monster's actions. It becomes a matter of fact and a daily ritual to wash off the business of the night before going about my daily business. As days turn into months, it becomes harder for me to return to human form from my night form. The attacks' interval becomes shorter and it becomes frequent for me to transform into my night form during the day.

Breathing raggedly, he looks at his reflection in the glass window with great sadness. It is terrifying, losing control of my actions slowly and surely.

There is no way to stop the transformation from happening. He has tried drinking holy water, hoping to halt the transformation. But other than burning a fiery path down his gullet, it has no significant effects. Tying myself in silver chains is futile. The restraints only serve to annoy the monster as it snaps the chains like flimsy twigs. It makes the monster more vicious and I am appalled when I wake up in a burning small village, all of the villagers brutally massacred and mutilated. Even the children were not spared. It is as if the monster is taunting me, daring me to aggravate it.

Restless, Keenan starts pacing in front of the window.

Seeing no way to reverse the transformation, I attempted suicide but I cannot die, despite several attempts. Flinging himself off a cliff multiple times didn't work. His limp body would always recover. Broken bones knitting together quickly and torn muscles reattaching swiftly, his body regains its former strength and structure in no time at all. Within minutes, he can walk again; unscathed and unharmed, without any scratches to show for his effort. Drowning did not work either. He'd just cough up all the water he swallowed. The saltwater, supposed to be purifying, didn't kill the evil lurking inside him. It is simply unbelievable. Ludicrous even. If it were not for the monster in the night, I would have called it a miracle. But my objective is to end my life so I would not harm anyone ever again.