Sinner

Part 16 Confusion

I sucked in a deep breath, as my sides twinge with a sharp stab of pain when I raise my right arm to put on my shirt. It has been weeks since I was discharged from the hospital.

Thank Goddess the supernatural race has their hospital run by our own kind. I can imagine the pandemonium that would have ensued if I were to be admitted into a normal human hospital. It would have freaked out the human surgeons and doctors that my grievous wound to the chest has started knitting together, closing the gaping hole within days.

Within weeks, the wound has healed over with nary a scar. Kudos to the healing ability of the werewolf kind. Yeah! But sometimes when I exert force or use my right arm, I still get shots of pain bursting from my chest where the wound should have been. From what Keenan told me, the spot where the wound was will continue to hurt for months until all internal damage was fully healed.

Darn, I hate feeling so weak. I can't even lift a frying pan with my right hand. I grumble to myself.

Turning to look myself in the mirror, I see a golf ball-sized hickey partially hidden by the collar. Keenan's fang marks still marked the spot where he made the hickey while I was bedridden. The hickey doesn't seem to be going away soon. Given the superb healing rate of werewolves, I'd thought the hickey would fade and be gone in a matter of seconds, but strangely, it didn't. When I asked Keenan about this, he merely gives me an enigmatic smile and refuses to explain. Seeing as no other werewolves live with us, I can't consult others regarding it too.

"Are you ready for dinner?" Keenan's voice rings out from the other side of my door. Hearing my grunt, he opens the door and steps into my room. Smiling widely, he strides to me and kisses my lips. Blushing, I look away from his eyes and avert my gaze everywhere but on him. I'm not quite sure how to handle him or respond. Should I kiss him back? Should I pretend it's normal?

Before my hospitalisation, he had always treated me impersonally like a subordinate. There was minimal touching except when sparring during practice and conversation revolved around work and casual matters.

During my hospitalisation, he showered me with flowers and kisses. A soft look enters his eyes when he looks at me. They are like whirlpools which pulls me deeper every time I look into them. I'm getting stupid. Where am I getting such soppy thoughts from? Come on girl, you're even waxing poetry over his eyes! His bloody eyes! Changing the direction of my thoughts, the image of him embracing me in his arms while I lie on the hospital bed floated up in my mind's eye. Sometimes, we got hot and heavy after the deep kisses we shared. But he would always pull back before we got to the stage where we started undressing each other. If I'm sentimental enough, I might even suspect he is in love with me, and gallantly courting me, without pressuring me for sex. I, on the other hand, want him to touch me more. This is especially when he leaves me high and dry after abruptly ending his hot kisses and leaving my hospital room for his work.

However, after I was discharged, he is extremely distant and polite to me, reverting back into our boss-subordinate relationship again. Although he would slip me a kiss every so often, confusing the hell out of me.

Why the sudden polar opposite in treatment? I'm entirely clueless about the state of our relationship. Are we still master-and apprentice or are we progressing onto lovers? My heart throbs painfully when he's in the vicinity. I get distracted when I see him or hear his voice.

Is it going to be physical or emotional, or both? I know I'm attracted to him since day one. Sex with him would be spectacular. But if we're just going to be bed mates, that'll put a strain in our working relationship. I'm not entirely sure I can handle him in bed then treat him professionally while we're out of it. Does he even like me, romantically speaking?

Is it going to be temporary because the dangerous predicament caused our emotions to be heightened? Is that why he's having second thoughts? I've read before if a man and a woman experience a dangerous situation together, he's more likely to fall in love with her than if they were to meet in a mundane setting like at an office.

Has the dopamine, adrenaline or endorphins levels in both our brains not stabilised yet? Is that causing this erratic back-and-forth swing from impersonal to lovers' interaction? His blowing hot and cold is forcing my brains into overdrive. My brain circuits are going to blow soon if I don't resolve this weird situation between us quickly.

A long moan escapes my lips when I sense a searing wet tongue licking against the side of my neck. It jarred me out of my distracting thoughts. Unconsciously tilting my head to give him better access, he changes his sensual licks to nibbling at the hickey. I gasp as electrical pulses zing crazily through my body. Strength left my trembling legs and my hands grab hold of his strong shoulders.

Keenan chuckles "Thought that would break you out of your frozen state," and resumes his playful nibbling.

Gathering my scattered thoughts, I stammer, "T...Th...There's r...really no need to do this to get my attention. What's wrong with you?" I try to act cool-headed and attempt to push him away. I did my best but knowing I am failing abysmally at suppressing the low moans escaping from my throat.

Ignoring my feeble protest, Keenan alternately licks and sucks at the fang mark on my neck. It's doing all sorts of wonder to my nerves. I feel myself getting wet from just his licking and I fight the insane urge to rub myself against him. I want his scent on me, around me. In me.

Keenan inhales sharply as if scenting my desire. Pupils dilating, eyes slumberous with desire, he takes me for a deep kiss. His arms circle my waist tightly, crushing me hard against his chest. The full body contact makes me gasp. My body writhes in joy. My knees went weak and my arms involuntarily went round his neck, jerking him closer to me. Our lips merge and tongues duelled. My body, unable to resist the craving, rubs insistently against Keenan's, silently demanding for more.

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