No Rest 'Til Apple Valley: A Weird and Oddly Satisfying Take on My Best Friends

Chapter 1: My Best Bud That Kicked My Ass For 8 Years

So Cisco is my best friend. I've known him since 4th grade and we met in a karate class we both went to. I don't know when he started but I had been going there for 10 years by the time I stopped shortly after 8th grade before I went on to high school. We always just got along in karate and hung out every now and then at school but didn't really start hanging out all the time until about 7th or 8th grade.

I guess his violence towards me started while we were in karate. When we would spar, I couldn't keep my hands up and block to save my life, but Cisco would always be right on me punching me every few seconds and when he wasn't punching me, he was kicking the hell out of me. I'll tell you right now, kid's got some strong ass legs cause those kicks hurt like a bee sting every time and he knew it, too. So while I hadn't really dubbed Cisco as my best friend, there was this other guy who was his best friend for a time and since I don't like him I will call him, Hershey. Hershey was a kid that since I met him, I wanted to kick him in the teeth. He was a somewhat short chubby kid who did not like me once we met so we were always at ends. Except for a good year and a half or two where we were near best friends which I still can't fathom how we got there to this day.

Anyways, Hershey was Cisco's best friend before I came around and during this time we were all buddy-buddy with each other in our science class, which I will never forget was probably one of the best classes anyone could have, was taught by an awesome dude I will name Dr. Gollum because if you went to my middle school, you've probably seen a select few Youtube videos regarding him being especially crazy. One time, Cisco, Hershey, and I were all hanging out in front of our science teacher's class during lunch. the Bell rang and I hadn't finished my lunch which consisted of pizza rolls and a chocolate cookie I bought from the snack bar. I hadn't gotten to that cookie yet and we couldn't eat in class so what I did was I gave the cookie to Dr. Gollum which unbeknownst to me, eventually sparked his nickname I give him in this book. Dr. Gollum took the cookie, jumped on top of the lab table in a crouching position, and started eating the cookie shouting in a voice reminiscent to the character in which his nickname stems from. He was yelling "MY PRECIOUS, MY PRECIOUS!!" as he's devouring the cookie and mind you, class is about to start and half of the kids are already in the room watching in horror as our science teacher falls further and further into insanity over a cookie.

Hershey managed to get a good bit of it on camera, and I gave him the login to my YouTube channel (since I was the only one that had a channel because I thought I could get big on YouTube) and we uploaded it to the internet for all to enjoy. later on we had a debacle about where the video should stay on YouTube whether it be my channel or his newly made channel. I'm not going into details about it but you can go find them on YouTube, there's 3 of the damn things of different situations. Anyway, go find them, they're somewhere.

So back to Cisco, Throughout the years him and I have always been best friends and I hope that we continue that trend for a long time. The main gripe I have about the bastard is his drive to toughen me up as he says by punching me in the arm on a regular basis. Seriously brother, you've been doing it for 8 years and nothing's changed, GIVE UP. Another really good story we've made together is us on Halloween in 2012. Our freshman year of high school. Let me give you some insight as to how that day was from the start.

At our school, which you can probably guess the name of, has a somewhat strict but loose policy of masks and makeup. Nothing that covers your entire face, which is a good rule to an extent, but its kind of unbalanced. You see, when Cisco took his first few steps into school as a gorilla, the elderly security guard on campus that I will appropriately name The Wicked Witch of the West stopped him and made him take his mask off when as she's talking to him, three other people in morph suits and masks walking in front of her and she says NOTHING. Later that day I was dressed as Gumby, a clay-mation cartoon character and pleasing the masses with my cheery spirit and hugs that I gave everyone. While I was walking to my third period class, I was taking pictures with some of the more nostalgia stricken students and giving them hugs when I hear the exact same security guard call my name as I'm taking a picture and she forced me to take my entire costume off and leave it in the office. I got my costume back later on but it essentially ruined my Halloween at school.

Once we got out of school, I headed over to Cisco's house and we proceeded to run some errands before we went to the movie theater to watch a horror movie. Our first stop, K-Mart. Wal-Mart's Ugly, cheaper cousin. we went in there so Cisco's mom can get a few things for themselves at their house and I walked in with my Gumby suit since I didn't get to enjoy being in it at school. The workers at the fine establishment didn't seem to mind a kid in a Gumby suit walking into a store which just reminded me that about a month prior to that day, a guy dressed up as Gumby and robbed a liquor store. Surprisingly, no one seemed to care or fear that their store might be next on the list. Once we got out of K-Mart, we talked about what movie we were going to go see and eventually we decided on going to go see a movie I was dreading to see, Sinister. I saw the trailer and thought it was one of the scariest movies I would ever see and turns out it's actually my favorite horror movie to this day.

After I've written as much as I can about each person I will leave the end for a little personal note to them should they ever read this.

Cisco, you are my best friend and the brother I never had. Thank you for being in my life as long as you have and I hope everything you choose to pursue in life works out for you. I wish you the best of luck in everything you do, brother. You're the best.