Well peeps here's the next chapter! I'll try and get as much done tonight :) of the rest of it. Will be away at the weekend so no updates then unfortunatly.
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That evening in bed Charlie was tossing and turning when she suddenly awoke, sweating and shaking after a terrible nightmare. After laying awake for around half an hour she thought about the dream and felt the urge to cut again. She sighed and cried a little, sitting up flicking herself with an elastic band. “Must not cut, must not cut,must not cut.” She said in a whisper and repeated terrified.
Upon hearing a strange noise she screamed, barley making a sound. Worried that it was the evil spirit coming to get her. She breathes heavily. Panicking. She felt sick. Wanted to throw up. She couldn’t relax nor could she rest. She just sat there wide awake, staring, staring into the darkness of her bedroom.
“Must not cut, must not cut.” She repeated over and over rocking back and forth crying. Frightened. Scared she would lose control, scared the dream would come true, afraid that this time she may go too far.
“Sophie...” Charlie said looking at the clock, hoping she would have awoken early. “Dad!” She continued and no one replied. Charlie cried some more burying her head into her Pillow. Feeling great urge to cut and not knowing what to do. She tried to resist. Really she did but she couldn't resist anymore. Crying she took out the blade from a silk bag and cut her hips. Several times, deep and hard. Cut where no one would see... so no one could find out.
She cried softly and dropped the blade then lays back down buried under her duvet she turns on her ipod and listens to beautiful red, crying.
beautiful red blood is leaving my veins
running out of my hands
dripping on the floor
I'm bleeding and it feels good
like my release finally arrived
beautiful red is surrounding me
no threats, no fears, just free at last
beautiful red blood is fading to black
no I cannot see, I'm losing my life
beautiful red is all I can see
suffocating, I cannot breath
falling, I cannot stand
no regrets, facing my death
beautiful red
dripping down
drip drip, losing my beautiful red
just a body dripping to death, just a soul, finding it's way
no regrets, I'll see my friends again
beautiful red blood is what I've seen
pain in my life is what I've felt
hate for stupid is what I've shown
I lived my life and now I'm gone
beautiful red
dripping down
As the song ended she realised people were awake and looked at the clock, noticing it was 7:30. “shit” She said quietly to herself knowing she had to be at school soon. “Charlie! Are you up?” Sophie banged on the door hoping to wake her.
“Yeah... sorry Soph. I'll be ready in a sec. Lost track of time.” Charlie sighed and got out of bed noticing her cuts from earlier had not stopped bleeding. “Ugh” She sighed and got dressed wearing black clothing to ensure it did not notice so much if the blood seeped through. After she stripped her bed and put the covers in the washing machine, hoping no one would find out that she had done it again.
“Morning Charl.... are you ok?” Peter asked noticing she looked tired and unwell.
“I'm fine dad... just didn't get much sleep last night.” Charlie replied yawning.
“Aww ok. How come?” He asked.
“Bad dreams... that's all...” Charlie said sighing hoping she wouldn't accidentally let the secret slip.
“Oh... well would you like to speak about it?”
“No... dad. Not yet...” She sighed and got herself a piece of toast for breakfast.
