First Time

Shake it out

Chapter 26: Shake it out

Warning: mentions of rape

It wasn't a dream, Kori concluded as she opened her eyes to find Dick next to her. He was still asleep, and so Kori took the opportunity to examine him closely, and with every trace her fingers made against his skin the more real his presence became. Dick was back.

Her hand retreated to his hair, her fingers combing through the black tresses. His hair had grown longer in his absence, and although it wasn't a major change, it was still a change. So much had changed since the day they had seen each other last... her most of all. Her hand returned to her side as she bit her lower lip. By some miracle Dick had returned to her, and as happy as it made her there was still a level of uneasiness. What would happen now? Things had changed. What if they were too different now?

She turned away from him and quietly got out of the bed. The day had hardly begun and she was already flustered. She needed to walk off her worries, perhaps eat something; anything to settle down. She nodded to herself and left the bedroom, heading towards the kitchen. When she arrived her eyes immediately fell upon Xavier who sat at the table, head lowered and an untouched cup of coffee in front of him.

She froze, her hand locked on the doorway as she remembered Dick was back. Dick was back and things... change. For everyone.

She gulped, and with guilt in her heart she pulled up a chair besides him and sat down. The two were silent, Xavier never even raising his eyes to acknowledge her presence. Finally, she decided to say the first word.

"Sorry."

He still didn't look at her, so she turned to him and repeated it again.

"I'm so sorry, Xavier."

Slowly he took held of his coffee mug and took a sip. He set it back down on the table after a moment, turning the mug around with scrutiny. "... Why does anything have to change? Why does it have to be him?"

For a moment her hand extended to his, but at the last moment she withdrew it, returning it to her lap where she began to fiddle her fingers.

"Give it to me straight, cutie," he commanded, noticing her hesitation. She had already burned him by picking another. There was no need for her to pour salt in his wounds by insulting him with an unnecessary worry of hurting his feelings. He was strong. He could handle any damage afflicted upon him.

Finally she stopped fiddling her fingers and looked up at him. It took her a moment, but she finally answered him properly. "... When I gave my heart to Dick Grayson it was not on loan. He is my first love, and I can't imagine anyone replacing that feeling it feels like my love for him is eternity."

His grip tightened around the handle of the mug and he shook his head. His emotions were as bright as the morning sun, clearly visible to Kori's eyes, and she frowned sadly.

"You are angry with me."

"I'm not," he assured her quickly.

"You are," she replied firmly. "It is okay to be angry at me. It is okay if you... hate me."

"I could never hate you," he said immediately, finally turning to look at her.

"But you should. I've dragged you through hell only to-"

"You never did anything to me. I knew what I was getting into. You warned me, but I refused to listen."

"I should have insisted. I should have-"

"Cutie, enough," he commanded and she pursed her lips. "Look... what's done is done. Besides... I owe you an apology."

Her eyes widened. "You? But you have done nothing wrong."